Saturday, March 17, 2012
Sickness and Spiders...
I seemed to have had caught the flu at some point last week. It started rearing its ugly little head around Tuesday- though I thought it was just a cold. By Wednesday, I was on my death bed. (Ok- not really, but close.) Now, if you know me at all, you know that I'm stubborn. When I want something, I will stop at nothing to accomplish it; including going to work not yet fully recovered. Fast forward to Friday around 3 o'clock. Time for work. I was indeed feeling better, having even called in sick to work the day before (NOT my style.) I even had some energy. Well... that didn't last long. By the time I got home, I thought I might pass out just from climbing up my stairs. Luckily, my bed was on the other side of the door at the top of those stairs. I tend to be the type of person who thinks, "Suck it up, Rabb. You're not going to die- just get it done." Last night before going to bed, I believe my only prayer was, "Lord! Give me energy in the morning to last through working all day tomorrow!" So, imagine my disappointment when this morning rolled around and my little body felt like it weighed one million pounds. I probably gave a sad little whimper, but my "suck it up" motto kicked in, and I got ready for work anyways. Thinking I would be late, I ended up having to rush about to gather my things, slap together a measly little lunch, and hustle out the door!! OH the energy that took! I got in my car, slumped down in the chair, took a few deep breaths, and put the car in reverse (the most difficult of all gears, I swear!).
As I was driving down the street, gearing myself up for work (pun intended), I noticed something moving out of the corner of my eye. It was a spider. Crawling along its web. Inside. My. Car.
Now, I don't fear many things in life. After hearing the phrase, "Becky, you have to have brain surgery..." a lot of your other fears blow right out the window, you feel me? But somehow, spiders have remained on the top 10 list of things that I'm still afraid of- perhaps #1. I felt panic rise in me, but, somehow, one of the gifts God has given me is calm in the face of a tragedy (Yes. Spiders equal tragedy. Stop judging me.) After the initial panic rose, the calm and level headedness set in (seriously, if you ever cut your arm off, you will want me to be there). I pulled to the side of the road, recognizing my absolute fear, put on my hazard lights, rolled down my window, took off my seat belt (in case, God forbid, the spider fell on me and I had to JUMP out of the car) and grabbed some paper in the seat next to me to squish it's guts out.
The squishing commenced.
I smeared its dead body, off of the paper and onto my side mirror (I need a car wash), and gently replaced the bloodied Costco tire receipt (that I still needed) back onto the chair beside me. Ew.
It was then that I was faced with a choice. I had just had a kind of terrible morning in the world of Becky. What was I going to do with that? I could either, 1) Laugh about it, or 2) throw myself a pity party and probably ruin the rest of my day. So often in life, we choose the later. Why? Does it REALLY make us feel better to throw a pity party for ourselves? No! In fact, it makes us feel even worse and feel worse ALL day long! So much of life is what we make of it. I chose the first, and have had a quite enjoyable morning (despite the sickness and spiders) because of it! Yes. I said it. You can choose your feelings.
Is something awkward? You've probably chosen it. Is something intense? You've probably made it that way. Is something depressing? You've probably chosen pity over joy. Are you feeling lonely? You've probably chosen isolation over community. There are always exceptions, but generally, this is the rule, and its certainly a worthy one to live by.
Chose life, and choose to live it abundantly, friends. Choosing "the high road" can be hard at first if you are not used to it, but it gets easier. I promise ;). There is nothing in life (trust me, I've had a few very interesting things come along) thrown our way that with the help of our gracious God, and loving community, we can't handle. Praise God.
1 Cor 10:13 The Message
"All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it."
Thursday, September 08, 2011
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Batter up...
Lately the Lord has been reminding me of the importance of just laying still and resting in His presence and letting Him fill me. I do nothing. I simply lay there with a heart that says, “Ok, Lord. Do whatever you want- this is your time. Just you and me.” ...and even if I don’t feel anything, or get any magnificent vision, I can know that He is true and faithful, and trust that He is laying ground work that I don’t even need to be aware of.
Romans 10:9-10 says it perfectly, and I’m so grateful that I am understanding it on deeper levels that I can’t even articulate:
“It’s the word of faith that welcomes God to go to work and set things right for us. This is the core of our preaching. Say the welcoming word to God-- ‘Jesus is my Master’ -- embracing, body and soul, God’s work of doing in us what he did in raising Jesus from the dead. That’s it. You’re not ‘doing’ anything; you’re simply calling out to God, trusting Him to do it for you. Thats salvation. With your whole being you embrace God setting things right, and then you say it, right out loud: “God has set everything right between him and me! No one who trusts God like this --heart and soul-- will ever regret it.”
Beautiful.
Brilliant.
Mind altering.
World-changing.
I see two things that stand out to me:
1) “It’s the WORD of faith”
This reinforces to me that even if someone is fresh and new to this, that even our words have vast power and authority, and they/we don’t even have to know what we’re doing.
How freeing!
2) “You’re not ‘doing’ anything; you’re simply calling out to God, trusting Him to do it for you.”
So much in this world is “survival of the fittest,” or, “if you work harder, longer, faster-- it’s yours.” Jesus doesn’t roll that way. He wants you to do nothing- or “surrender,” rather. He wants your HEART. Naturally, living in the world and be surrounded by the world’s way of doing things, Christians tend to fall into the pit of striving for more... striving for greater intimacy... striving for healings... striving for wonders...
striving for something that is already theirs...
No. That’s not His game plan. What He gives is always just that- a gift.
I’m reminded of two scriptures:
Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God.”
Romans 12:2, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will."
A while ago, a friend asked me to pray for them and let them know if I got any words of encouragement, knowledge or pictures. The picture I got for him actually meant a lot to me too, and I feel like it applies here as well.
It started out with me seeing broken baseball bat- and then it was gone. I remember thinking that was strange, but it stuck with me.
Next, I saw a baseball game... the view I had was from behind the pitcher, whose face I never saw. Someone was up to bat... the pitcher threw the ball, the batter missed and the catcher caught the ball. I asked if my friend was the batter, but the Lord said, "No." He said that my friend was the catcher, that he was on the same team with the pitcher, and that their team was winning. I thought that it was interesting... normally the pitcher and batters are the stars in baseball- so why was he the catcher? I began to ask Him what it all meant. He said that HE was the Pitcher, satan was the batter, my friend (or, all His children, really) are the catchers, and the ball was our future (and anything He has for us). Our ONLY job was to keep our eyes on the ball (NOT the batter) and WAIT. The batter- or, the enemy- could be a rather large distraction, obviously, but we as catchers IGNORE the batter, and just act like we are playing catch.
Interesting.
Lets dig in, a little, shall we?
What do catchers do?
-To begin with, they are alert, ready, responsive, and literally on their toes.
-Their eyes are always focused on the ball.
-They have silent communication with the pitcher- partnering together in the way in which the ball will be thrown.
-They hunker down, and wait for that ball to come.
-The ball always comes, but only when the pitcher is ready to throw, and thinks you are ready to receive.
-He then reminded me that our team was winning and that satan had missed the ball.
As His children, this is the same way he wants us to function with him. He is our pitcher, and we are His catchers.
Feeling utterly blessed and astounded at the simplicity and yet depth of it all, I remembered the broken baseball bat at the beginning and asked what that was all about. He said that even before the game had started, the very weapon of the enemy was broken.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Suddenly...

What is he doing this Christmas? Does he even know what Christmas is? Is he off of drugs yet?

Do they have a home yet? Is she still a prostitute? Have they eaten today? What would they do if they saw all the presents under my tree? What would they do if all those presents were for them? Would they know what to do?

Has he learned to write his name yet? Is he still at the wonderful center? Is someone loving him? Is he still alive?
Suddenly that laptop doesn't seem so essential to life.
Suddenly I appreciate the fact that soon I will be buying my own car and learning the real value of money.
Suddenly my heart can see what life is really about, and all the "Must have"'s and "Did I buy enough"'s get washed away.
Suddenly my heart for ministry has returned to where it originated.
Suddenly I wish all the money spent on me this year for Christmas was donated to Asian Partners International and the great work they do, or to my friend, Allie, teaching in Afghanistan.
Suddenly the commercialism is overwhelming and produces a gag-reflex.
Suddenly I wish all the money spent to buy Christmas candy was used to buy rice for kids who eat on a less-than-regular basis.
Suddenly I have a greater appreciation for the fact that I live in the land of dreams and one of my life-goals (being a working designer) has already been achieved- and I'm only 23.
Suddenly my heart longs to be back over there again holding a dirty little hand and telling them that they are important, not with English words that they don't understand, but with love behind my eyes and a smile on my face.
So, maybe today we can take the time to pray for one of the many little faces over in the unfamiliar land of lost dreams. Maybe we can go even further... Maybe I can donate to a "good cause." Maybe I can put more than just my coin change in the salvation army bucket outside of Walmart. Maybe when I'm IN Walmart, I can buy some extra canned goods and give them to that homeless person I see everyday. Maybe I can re-sensitize my heart to poverty and homelessness. Maybe I can give to the poor and needy like the Bible suggests, and not cynically believe that the money I just gave will be put to bad use.
James 1:27
"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Gaining Ground

Thursday, October 07, 2010
Rhymin'
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Change
"Becky, you have to have brain surgery..."
