My Thoughts.

Healing Stories

2011-09-08T13:14:00.011-07:00

Well! I've had a hankering to write lately, but wasn't sure what to write about. After having a little prayer session in the office today, and seeing some immediate results, why not just offer up some testimony of some healings I've seen recently?

The first one goes back a couple of months. I went along with a group of friends to pray for some healing from cancer. Now... I've got a personal problem with cancer- so anytime I get a chance to pray for it to be banished back to the pits of hell, I'm all about it! It's tried to get a few friends of mine now, and has taken a family member of mine as well. The word "cancer" itself has formed into this mighty word that places sorrow and fear into the hearts of many. I hate that. I say now- just as always- cancer is just another sickness, no greater or less than any of the others- and my God surely can take down any and all of them. cancer, who?? cancer, what?? I don't even like capitalizing it, typing it, or saying it. I almost just want to call it, "the 'c' word." I hate it. Can you tell? Anyways, we went to pray for our friend a few times. The second time around, I felt it well up inside of me to pray for her jaw bone, since I myself have seen healing in my bones. Soon after, her jaw bone straightened back up from its previously leaning, and sunken-in state. Other amazing things happened as well while we all prayed and sang over her. Visions were had, pictures were seen, fear was dissolved... we loved it, obviously. Later, we found out that she had an MRI taken of her jaw and surrounding lymph nodes before we came and prayed for her. The MRI showed that she indeed had cancer in her jaw bone and lymph nodes. She had an MRI after we prayed, too. The second MRI was completely clear of all cancer in her jaw bone and lymph nodes.

A more recent one was in me! I went to a healing room with my friend. I walked in with sinuses aching, asthma in my lungs, and very sore from having moved my sister from state to state! The presence of the Lord was very thick in this room. After about 30 minutes of just sitting in His presence, surrounded by worshipers, and enjoying the peaceful atmosphere, I noticed that my sinuses were completely clear, that I could breath deeply and clearly in my lungs, and that my muscles were so relaxed- they were no longer sore! I will say it again- no one even prayed for me. I was simply in His presence, and that is more than enough.

The last one happened just today! My dear friend up here at the office, Betty, has both fractured her foot (we call her Betty-Boot now) and has had a very painful sciatic nerve problem for years. She has tried many operations to get it fixed, but they have only provided temporary relief. So today we had the bright idea to pray for her. I squatted down on my knees, put my hand on her foot, and asked where her back hurt. She showed me, and that's where I put my other hand. A co-worker prayed first- she was very thorough and covered all the bases, asking the Lord for His mending and healing- I didn't even feel a need to pray anything beyond that! It was a great prayer. So then I asked Betty how she felt. She said she felt blessed, but that her back still hurt. I reminded them both that one time, even Jesus prayed twice for someone to get delivered. So I prayed a second time asking for complete healing and for pain to be GONE. A simple request. A simple prayer... knowing that nothing comes from me, but from Him alone. I asked Betty again how she felt. She wiggled around a little, and said, "Huh.... pretty good!" I said, "Really? Like how good?" She wiggled around a little more and said, "Really good! ...my back feels warm where your hand was too..." I giggled a little and said that the Holy Spirit was kinda funny like that sometimes! Sometimes He likes to make His presence known through heat, coolness, or tingling. She replied and said, "Well! I'm just going to call you 'Kathryn' now!" Ahhhhh, what a beautiful complement! I accept! But really- there is nothing special about me, and I'm sure that Kathryn Kuhlman would say the same thing. It's not me. It's all Him. Actually, the more that I am involved, the less likely it is that a healing, miracle, or kingdom occurrence will happen. The more I think about it, the more pressure I put on myself to see results, the more I try and conjure up a "Holy" atmosphere, the more beautiful I try and make a prayer, the less likely it is to happen. (we will see if her foot is still fractured at her x-ray next week.)

I'm reminded of the verse in 2 Chronicles 7:14 that states, "If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land." Lets break that apart a little as it relates to healing, shall we?

"If my people... will humble themselves and pray..." What if we looked at the word, "humble" not as "ranking low in hierarchy" as Webster defines it, but more of an "emptying" of ourselves? Just empty out your brain! Shut off those worries and concerns! What if we simply recognized that the only thing we were really responsible for was acting... actually walking up to them and saying a simple prayer? "humble themselves AND pray."

"...and seek my face..." All I do is rely on God and let Him do whatever He wants. Wow... that's easy.

"...and turn from their wicked ways..." Personally, I have felt pressure many times to see results anytime I prayed for healing- I had felt this way for a long time. Then I realized its not a matter of how "powerful" my prayers are or what I say- actually that's the opposite of the whole idea (I believe its Mark 10:15 that discusses the value of having a child-like faith). But if I turn from that wicked mindset of somehow thinking that the healing was at all reliant upon me, and remember that its acutally 0% me, suddenly that pressure is alleviated. With all that pressure gone, its much easier to be totally open, to hear God's voice, and notice His little nudges. It becomes much easier for HIS power to pour into an "empty" vessel rather than one that is "clogged" up with MY thoughts, pride, and pressure.

If we do these things it says, "then will I hear them from heaven, (not "maybe"... not "sometimes" ... it says, "'THEN' will I") and forgive their sin (as in MY sinful thinking!) and will heal their land."

People so often are looking for a "formula" to receive healing- well, there you have it. 2 Chronicles 7:14 gets pretty close to laying it out in a "formula" fashion.

John 3:30, "He must become greater, I must become less."

Batter up...

2011-06-11T14:20:00.005-07:00

Lately the Lord has been reminding me of the importance of just laying still and resting in His presence and letting Him fill me. I do nothing. I simply lay there with a heart that says, “Ok, Lord. Do whatever you want- this is your time. Just you and me.” ...and even if I don’t feel anything, or get any magnificent vision, I can know that He is true and faithful, and trust that He is laying ground work that I don’t even need to be aware of.

Romans 10:9-10 says it perfectly, and I’m so grateful that I am understanding it on deeper levels that I can’t even articulate:

“It’s the word of faith that welcomes God to go to work and set things right for us. This is the core of our preaching. Say the welcoming word to God-- ‘Jesus is my Master’ -- embracing, body and soul, God’s work of doing in us what he did in raising Jesus from the dead. That’s it. You’re not ‘doing’ anything; you’re simply calling out to God, trusting Him to do it for you. Thats salvation. With your whole being you embrace God setting things right, and then you say it, right out loud: “God has set everything right between him and me! No one who trusts God like this --heart and soul-- will ever regret it.”

Beautiful.

Brilliant.

Mind altering.

World-changing.

I see two things that stand out to me:

1) “It’s the WORD of faith”

This reinforces to me that even if someone is fresh and new to this, that even our words have vast power and authority, and they/we don’t even have to know what we’re doing.

How freeing!

2) “You’re not ‘doing’ anything; you’re simply calling out to God, trusting Him to do it for you.”

So much in this world is “survival of the fittest,” or, “if you work harder, longer, faster-- it’s yours.” Jesus doesn’t roll that way. He wants you to do nothing- or “surrender,” rather. He wants your HEART. Naturally, living in the world and be surrounded by the world’s way of doing things, Christians tend to fall into the pit of striving for more... striving for greater intimacy... striving for healings... striving for wonders...

striving for something that is already theirs...

No. That’s not His game plan. What He gives is always just that- a gift.

I’m reminded of two scriptures:

Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God.”

Romans 12:2, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will."

A while ago, a friend asked me to pray for them and let them know if I got any words of encouragement, knowledge or pictures. The picture I got for him actually meant a lot to me too, and I feel like it applies here as well.

It started out with me seeing broken baseball bat- and then it was gone. I remember thinking that was strange, but it stuck with me.

Next, I saw a baseball game... the view I had was from behind the pitcher, whose face I never saw. Someone was up to bat... the pitcher threw the ball, the batter missed and the catcher caught the ball. I asked if my friend was the batter, but the Lord said, "No." He said that my friend was the catcher, that he was on the same team with the pitcher, and that their team was winning. I thought that it was interesting... normally the pitcher and batters are the stars in baseball- so why was he the catcher? I began to ask Him what it all meant. He said that HE was the Pitcher, satan was the batter, my friend (or, all His children, really) are the catchers, and the ball was our future (and anything He has for us). Our ONLY job was to keep our eyes on the ball (NOT the batter) and WAIT. The batter- or, the enemy- could be a rather large distraction, obviously, but we as catchers IGNORE the batter, and just act like we are playing catch.

Interesting.

Lets dig in, a little, shall we?

What do catchers do?

-To begin with, they are alert, ready, responsive, and literally on their toes.

-Their eyes are always focused on the ball.

-They have silent communication with the pitcher- partnering together in the way in which the ball will be thrown.

-They hunker down, and wait for that ball to come.

-The ball always comes, but only when the pitcher is ready to throw, and thinks you are ready to receive.

-He then reminded me that our team was winning and that satan had missed the ball.

As His children, this is the same way he wants us to function with him. He is our pitcher, and we are His catchers.

Feeling utterly blessed and astounded at the simplicity and yet depth of it all, I remembered the broken baseball bat at the beginning and asked what that was all about. He said that even before the game had started, the very weapon of the enemy was broken.

Wow. I’m so grateful to be on His team.

Suddenly...

2010-12-22T08:40:00.011-07:00

It's that time of year again, can you feel the excitement in the air? I can. I can feel it all the way down to my toes. I have so much to look forward to, and am so incredibly blessed. I look around and see all the ad's for kid's toys and grown-up-iPad-toys. Yep... its Christmas time in America again. I live a life of luxury and favor. Its normally around this time of year, when I am driving to work in a car that was leased for me, and when I am sitting in my expensive office chair clicking around on expensive software to make things look pretty with my bachelors degree under my belt, and when I find myself thinking, "I only got her two presents.... is that enough? Will she know how much she means to me," and when I let my heart long for the $2,300 laptop that I "must" have.... Just when life seems "unfair" because of something that I don't have, their little faces pop up in my head once again.

What is he doing this Christmas? Does he even know what Christmas is? Is he off of drugs yet?

Do they have a home yet? Is she still a prostitute? Have they eaten today? What would they do if they saw all the presents under my tree? What would they do if all those presents were for them? Would they know what to do?

Has he learned to write his name yet? Is he still at the wonderful center? Is someone loving him? Is he still alive?

Suddenly that laptop doesn't seem so essential to life.
Suddenly I appreciate the fact that soon I will be buying my own car and learning the real value of money.
Suddenly my heart can see what life is really about, and all the "Must have"'s and "Did I buy enough"'s get washed away.
Suddenly my heart for ministry has returned to where it originated.
Suddenly I wish all the money spent on me this year for Christmas was donated to Asian Partners International and the great work they do, or to my friend, Allie, teaching in Afghanistan.
Suddenly the commercialism is overwhelming and produces a gag-reflex.
Suddenly I wish all the money spent to buy Christmas candy was used to buy rice for kids who eat on a less-than-regular basis.
Suddenly I have a greater appreciation for the fact that I live in the land of dreams and one of my life-goals (being a working designer) has already been achieved- and I'm only 23.
Suddenly my heart longs to be back over there again holding a dirty little hand and telling them that they are important, not with English words that they don't understand, but with love behind my eyes and a smile on my face.

So, maybe today we can take the time to pray for one of the many little faces over in the unfamiliar land of lost dreams. Maybe we can go even further... Maybe I can donate to a "good cause." Maybe I can put more than just my coin change in the salvation army bucket outside of Walmart. Maybe when I'm IN Walmart, I can buy some extra canned goods and give them to that homeless person I see everyday. Maybe I can re-sensitize my heart to poverty and homelessness. Maybe I can give to the poor and needy like the Bible suggests, and not cynically believe that the money I just gave will be put to bad use.

James 1:27
"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

Gaining Ground

2010-10-13T20:10:00.011-07:00

This evening, for the first time since I moved, I went on a bike ride. Don't worry- I didn't do anything crazy (like ride for 20 miles when I really wasn't prepared to)! As is fitting for this time in my life, everything about it was new. I was gaining ground in new territory.... literally. Normally, I would scout out a path with my car before venturing out to places never before seen. Alas, the sun was setting, so I decided it wouldn't be too tragic if I went ahead and made it an unforeseen adventure. As I was going along my way, I came across a few obstacles.

Obstacle number one: a hill. Not just any hill, my friends! This hill was a bit of a nightmare! Short, but steep! I saw it coming long before I arrived, and many things went through my mind as I approached:

"Crap."

"Maybe I should turn around."

"I should turn around."

"Maybe I can make it."

"What if I made it?"

"I'm gunna go for it."

"I REALLY hope there isn't another hill just beyond it!!"

"HERE WE GO!"

Before reaching the hill, I pumped my little legs as fast as they would go in order to gain momentum for the push once I got there. About half way up the little monster, I found myself standing while pedaling, panting, and wondering if I was going nuts for even attempting the climb. I was SO close though! I saw the "finish line" and just KEPT going! At this point, my mouth was made of cotton, and both legs and lungs were burning like they just took a trip to hades.

But, I made it.

Obstacle number 2: darkness.

I've noticed that the sun tends to go down rather quickly here in Arizona (or maybe everywhere, and I just haven't noticed?!). I figured I would have enough time, though, so instead of going for the intended 6 mile ride, I pressed on for 10. Knowing that I tend to push the limits, and having encountered this little problem of darkness before, I was prepared! I had both headlight and taillight soundly secured to my bike. Even so, the headlight wasn't much compared to the vast darkness that soon enveloped me. The darker it became, the harder it was to even see the path directly in front of me. And yet, if I paid close enough attention, I avoided all pit-holes, and managed to remain on the very narrow shoulder. The small, but steady stream of light pierced through the ever growing darkness.

Perhaps you see where I am going with all this? When you see a challenge approaching you in life, instead of giving up, gear up! Plan accordingly! Gain momentum so that when your legs and lungs are burning, you will be all that much closer to the "finish line." If momentum is not gained, and preparations are not made, it simply makes it all that much harder to persevere. And, when darkness catches you off guard, just keep paying CLOSE attention to where the Light is shining and leading you, and you will not stray off of your path or have to bump through the pit-holes of life. Darkness can easily become overwhelming, but if you stay near that steady stream of light, it will always pierce through the darkness. Because even in new, and uncharted adventures, He will surely guide you home.

Rhymin'

2010-10-07T22:20:00.004-07:00

My heart races at the thought of You.

My mind goes places that I never knew.

Visions of angelic faces

Meet me in most random places.

No more demons breaking down my door-

Spirit-stricken, rather, on the floor.

Adorned in armor made of gold,

I walk on by- they'll have no hold...

..."set apart"- so I'm told.

Gardens blooming in the face

of fear and doubt- they have no space.

So, I'll hold to that secret place

Where I look You in the face-

It's here my heart begins to race,

When we meet in the secret place.

Change

2010-09-30T06:56:00.005-07:00

My, how life changes in an instant. I think I have learned this in a few big ways through out the years...

In as long as it takes to get a phone call, BAM- life was changed:
"Becky, you have to have brain surgery..."

In as long as it takes to hear a word from the Lord, BAM- life was changed:

"Becky, move away from all that you know. Move to Phoenix."

In as long as it takes to read an e-mail, BAM- life was changed:

"Becky, Its too dangerous right now in the city we were going to send you to for a year of your life, and its only going to get worse in the near future. You can't go."

Most recently (but perhaps not as dramatically ;) ), life has changed again. Two weeks ago I was living at home with my parents, and had no job in sight. Since then, I have moved out, and am working full time. I have definitely swung into a new phase of life; one that is much more busy, one that flies by, one with loads more people, one in which it is easy to GO GO GO until I drop. I've yet to establish my own routine, and I think I am paying for it a bit. Im not sure if its because I have gone until I literally dropped, or if I just caught a little cold, but this cold has been used for the good (screw you, satan). It's showing me already that I am going to need lots more discipline if I'm going to do this thing well. It has shown me that I really need to pay even more attention to what my body is telling me. Its showing me that, as Nik talked about last week, in a season of fruitfulness, rest seems almost even more important than before- I need rest to be sustained! It's shown me that even though many of the people who I love most in life may be in the next room, and I may want to be in there more than I could imagine, I still need to go to bed. Its shown me that its ok to say, "I need to go home and rest. I will be back tomorrow." I'm learning that even though I may want to go into the other room and chill with whoever is there, I still need some time alone to collect myself and spend precious time with my Creator.

I think the most valuable lesson learned here is how to say, "no." When something as hugely tempting as friends or medicine is laid down in front of you, and you want it more badly than a drug addict want's his next hit (is that dramatic? baahaha), the answer (for me, at least) is still, "no." (incase you don't know, I try as hard as I can to stay away from medicine now days because I want more than anything to rely on the Lord, and the Lord alone- even when its really difficult.)

...speaking of responsibility... time to leave for work ;)

Vomit, or Ice Cream!? Your Choice.

2010-09-14T14:23:00.004-07:00

Lets be honest. This week has been weird.

Chaotic thoughts have been pumping through the veins of my mind, and the "what if's" of life have been taking their toll. The enemy has been vomiting in my ear, and if I'm being perfectly honest, I have been paying too much attention to the mess.

To an outsider looking in, my life is vanilla ice cream with cherries on top.

That outsider is 100% correct. I couldn't be more blessed.

But, the culprit who leaves the stinky mess sees my tremendous favor, and wants me to believe otherwise- to believe in his lies. He wants me to see the vanilla ice cream with cherries on top, and worry that it will melt, or fall to the floor. If I were to do so- if I were to engage with his deceit, I would miss out on tasting and seeing what is good and true. I would miss out on the provisions that the Alpha and Omega has graciously handed to me.

Is He not my creator? Did He not knit me together? Wasn't it He who gave me this heart? Isn't He the one who has given me my dreams? How dare I doubt that He would do anything but provide- and do so in the most awe-inspiring ways?

Thankfully, the Lord is patient and gentle with me- even when I have trouble taking pleasure in the ice cream of life! He calmly and faithfully speaks to me in glorious pictures and visions, and never fails to blow my mind through His word- both living and written.

Chaos is never fun. But, bless the Lord, its becoming easier to recognize the stench.

Isn't it interesting how the phrase, "I don't know" seems to become virtually weightless once we relinquish our own desperate attempts at controlling the universe around us? Isn't it funny how light it becomes the more child-like we become? When we sit back and relax, and flat out indulge in the double helping of goodness that He offers, life is something to be enjoyed! Can't we just know and trust that our Perfect Daddy will protect us from evil- an evil that He has already vanquished. And if, for some reason, our ice cream does manage to drop, we can still rest, because our Daddy owns the ice cream shop, and we get free re-fills ;).

"The One who calls you is faithful and He will do it." 1 Thessalonians 5: 24

It is for freedom that He's set us free!

2010-09-12T08:11:00.008-07:00

Two days ago I found myself bobbing up and down in my pool- time to work out. I set out to tread water for 10 minutes. I had my timer going, and before I knew it I had indeed reached 10 minutes. But, was that good enough? No. "I must push myself further," I thought!

12 minutes. "Not good enough. I will go for 15."

15 minutes. "I've gone this long before... not impressed. I will go for 20."

20 minutes. "This is the longest I've ever gone! But how cool would that be to reach 25 minutes??"

25 minutes. "I wonder what the record is for treading water. I wonder if I can beat it. Im going to try for 30 minutes!"

27 minutes. "Oh sweet Jesus, shoot me in the face!!"

30 minutes. "Well, I may die now, but at least I tripled my original goal."

Yesterday I had planned to go for a bike ride. My last ride was 8 miles, so I figured I would up my goal to 10 for the day. I set out at around 10:45 and it didn't take me long to reach the days goal. Was it good enough? No. "Omgosh, how lame does 10 miles sound right now?! People RUN 10 miles all the time! I'm not impressed. I'll go for 12."

12 miles. "12 miles!? People still run this, and I've gone further before. Lame. I'll go for 15."

15 miles. "Well, this is the furthest I've ever gone, but 15 still sounds pretty pathetic. I wonder if I can make it to 17."

"Oh! Let me try this new road with several hills designed specifically to kill me!"

"Eh, If I can do this road once, I can do it again."

"And again.... still not impressed with myself."

17 miles. "Dang. I may die soon, but 17 miles is still just not cutting it for me. I should probably go in. I should probably get more water. I should probably get sunscreen. I feel the Holy Spirit asking me why it matters to me. Whatever. I'm going to keep going."

20 miles. "20 miles? I'm still not impressed in the least, and am just plain annoyed that my body has stopped working and I couldn't keep going. Dumb body! Ugh. I guess I will go in."

And this, Ladies and gentlemen, is how my little mind works- not only in working out- but in life if I let it. "I must do better! I must go bigger! It must be perfect! Its not good enough! A pro would do better! I must, I must, I must!"

I have a bachelors degree. Good enough? Nope. I want my masters.

I have art up in two different places. Good enough? Nope. It's not New York.

"What a good drawing, Becky!" Good enough? Nope. Let me point out to you it's flaws.

"You look so pretty, Becky!" Good enough? Nope. I could have done more.

"What a great picture, Becky!" Good enough? Nope. There is a color cast that I can't get rid of.

I've lost 53 pounds. Good enough? Nope. I don't see a six pack.

I have been learning about discipline lately. Generally, I have the discipline to get things done, and done on time. I think the problem will lie in being disciplined enough to know when to stop, and to be ok with it! I am a perfectionist, and sometimes, it comes back to bite me in the butt (like right now! If only you could feel my sunburn from yesterdays ride!!). It seems that when I do things, its very easy for me to slip into doing them in line with the worlds standards. "Is it good enough? Is it fresh enough? Is it big enough?"

No, no, little Becky.

I can't forget to always listen to that gentle whisper. Let Him tell me what's what, what's good enough, and when to stop. I can't let that other voice tell me lies about how, "Thats not impressive, you can go further!" Or, "Keep going- push yourself beyond reason!" How silly is that? What a way to live. Nope. I will NOT live that way, even if it takes a sunburn to make me see it!

It is for freedom that He has set us free.

It's funny how that phrase continues to take on more and more meaning. I love that He continues to show me how it applies to my life, and each time He does I feel like a kid in a candy shop who just CAN'T get enough of all the freedom He has to offer me ;).

I will bomb you.

2010-08-22T19:40:00.004-07:00

Well, it has been quite a while, no? Yes. Apparently, I will not be going to Asia as I had anticipated- at least not in the near future. The city where my base would be is experiencing loads of political and social turmoil, which equals violence and acts of terrorism. Sounds like a good way to deal with things, yes? No. I'm bummed. I won't lie. There is nothing I (or anyone else for that matter) can do about it, though. I've done my moping. Time to move on.

As for the future, I am looking into going back to school and getting my masters in design- emphasizing (hopefully) on illustration and printmaking. I don't know why, but I have always thought it would be so much fun to work for a card company! Well... thats just the work side of it... hopefully I will be in the art world too. What am I saying? I WILL be in the art world. For right now, at least, it is easy for me to stress about getting accepted into my top schools and how the heck financial aid works (and all that jazz).

Instead of worrying, I will choose think about August 31st when I get to go to South Carolina to see my dear friend, and her wonderful family. If thats not good enough for you, I get to go with one of my favorite people in the whole world. Yep. I will think on these things.

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." Phil 4:8

2010-06-12T00:31:00.002-07:00

The Lord just keeps blowing my mind.

A girl in the small group I go to had cervical cancer. She had a doctor appointment the day after we met. We all decided to take shifts and cover her in prayer until her appointment the next day.

She got there, and the doctor said that she no longer had cancer. He couldn't even find a place to biopsy.

Yep.

That's the power of the God that I serve.

Whats yours do?

I seem to be drooling a lot lately...

2010-06-04T00:11:00.005-07:00

This, for example, makes my creative little heart burst with excitement, and when that happens, drool tends to form:

this does not seem to practical to invest in, however, since it is no longer in production, and since the light bulbs used can only be used once. I think the world may run out... ha

This one, however, seems to be up and running still! AND is way more professional than the little gocco! The only problem is that it seems to be around 350$. uhh.... probably a GOOD investment for something like an Etsy shop, however, the necessary funds seem to be missing from my life, and I am currently saving every last penny that I can for a little trip across the globe... Oh well.... a girl can dream, right??

But can I just say that the Yudu is NOT the first table top screen printer? mkay- thanks.

and one last thing: YES!

How To Recycle Paper (homemade Letter Paper) - For more funny videos, click here

um....

2010-06-03T23:40:00.000-07:00

...wow
no words.

Beware of Nudity

2010-05-28T10:08:00.007-07:00

Paschal Renoux.

Possibly one of my favorite photographers ever. Why? He is not intimidated by the nude. If you are anything like me, you will agree with what a certain Edgar Degas said, "Bodies were made to be looked at." To me, the human form, no matter the shape, size, race, or gender is one of the most beautiful and fascinating among all that the Lord has created. So this post is dedicated to celebrating just that: the crowned jewel of all creation.

Here are some reasons why I love Renoux's work:
-He can capture emotion like none I have ever seen.
-He pushes past the "erotic" stereotype that a nude photograph has, and looks for something truly interesting or beautiful.
-He does not subjectify the woman form, and in fact takes many pictures of male nudes as well.
-He appreciates all sizes, races, and both genders.
-He can actually take a decent black and white photograph.

So, if you dare, take a look with me at some of his and His beautiful work.

Help wanted!

2010-05-24T20:45:00.002-07:00

So you know that interview that I talked about earlier? Well, not only did that happen, but Sunday when my mom and I went to a favorite yogurt store, they had a "Help wanted" sign up in their window (which just DOESNT happen around here). How awesome would that be?! Talk about part-time goodness, as well as the fact that it is only like 2 minutes from my house. I will have to give them a call tomorrow or the next day if I don't hear from 'em! yay!

Check it...

2010-05-20T22:49:00.003-07:00

So, it seems that Jesus is just constantly doing something crazy and awesome for me, or around me these days. I'm going to start posting about at least one thing He has done for me everyday or every other day because its almost becoming ridiculous! Today's was pretty humorous. I was cutting up an apple, and thinking/praying, "LORD! I am so SO bored!" not even a minute later, I get a call from Fortune 5 Marketing. They want an interview with me tomorrow morning at 10:30. How hilarious is that!? Not only did He give me something to do IMMEDIATELY (I went and located their building for tomorrow morning), but He also gave me something to do tomorrow! lol! Who knows if I will get the job, but with the way things are going lately, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if I did.

Something that happened yesterday: I regularly pray and ask the Lord to stick pennies to the wall for me... just because I have SO much fun doing that with Jesus! I venture out and try other surfaces too... some are "easier" than others. The window, though.... now THAT one is a challenge. I had only been successful in sticking a penny to the window one time before. Yesterday I was not only able to do it (through the Lord, of course) but I also got it on video! Yay! So much fun! check it:

Baaaahahaha, I love playing games with Jesus :)

Crazy awesome healing!

2010-05-19T01:23:00.005-07:00

Soooo..... Check this out:

Chiari!!! (pronounced key-arey)

Here is a pretty good description of what is technically going on: "Arnold-Chiari malformations are generally neurological in nature. Symptoms are caused by an abnormally formed skull that forces a part of the cerebellum of the brain to extend down below its normal position in the skull. In Arnold-Chiari malformation, the cerebellum pushes down into the spinal canal and puts pressure on the brain stem."

The symptoms that I experienced:
muscle weakness
difficulty swallowing
extreme fatigue
tingling and numbness of extremities
involuntary eye movements, double vision, and trouble focusing
extreme piercing headaches when doing anything strenuous (even laughing too hard or singing too loud)
a constant dull headache
random severe shooting pains in my brain
memory loss
black outs
balance problems
dizziness
ringing in my ears
loss of depth perception

The surgery:
As seen in the picture, they remove the lower portion of your skull to create more room for your cerebellum to sit comfortably with no pressure put on it. They also did something with my dura (the skin-like membrane that covers your brain) but I cant remember what. The main purpose of the surgery is to create a normal flow of CSF (Cerebrospinal fluid) which acts as "padding" for your brain and spine- you know... its that junk that your brain floats in inside of your skull ;). Since the CSF needs to be constantly flowing in and out of your skull and down your spinal cord in order to live, the brain malformation creates an interesting little problem! It impedes, and in some cases completely halts (didn't totally halt the flow in my case), the flow of CSF because of the crowding going on at the base of the skull (incase you didn't know, everyone has a hole at the bottom of their skull where the brain stem extends up to your brain from your spinal cord. The hole is also where the CSF is able to pass from the brain to the spinal cord and back again. However, since my cerebellum was trying to force it's way down into that hole -aka the foramen magnum- my CSF flow was very limited and continuing to get worse as my brain grew making my symptoms become more severe) So! The surgery pretty much just gave me a gigantic foramen magnum! After they removed the portion of my skull, they did not replace it with a metal plate or anything of that nature. They simply put my neck muscles and tendons back in place, and stapled me shut.

The recovery:
The surgery does NOT offer a cure to your symptoms. In fact, most people still have all of the symptoms they started with except for the strain induced headaches- which is what happened with me. After the surgery and very long and painful recovery, I not only still had all the symptoms, but I also had a whole new life to get used to. Since there was no more support at the base of my brain, any sort of pressure or jarring movement (running... speed bumps... arms going around my neck in a hug...) resulted in week long migraines. I also had restricted movement in my neck, since they sliced through all my neck muscles to get to my skull, and I could no longer lift anything much heavier than 25lbs because of the strain that it put on my neck and brain.

The Healing:
The second time that our lovely community prayed for my healing was when it all started :)! I started out with a 4sq inch hole which is now down to about the size of a quarter! My balance is much improved (I can actually walk down a curb now without falling off) although I still find myself running into things on occasion. I also have not noticed any Involuntary eye movement since then, and can focus on things now! My memory is still bad, but I am beginning to remember the small things like where I put my keys last or that I was supposed to **fill in the blank.** When before, I would have a complete absence of any kind of memory about those things- even to the point of forgetting entire conversations, assignments, and even people and continuing to have no memory of these things when reminded. (You also have to understand that before I started experiencing any kind of memory loss, my memory was AMAZING! I remembered EVERYTHING... its all in the little victories sometimes! :)) I also haven't had any swallowing difficulties since then- although after the surgery, the swallowing issues were not constant... they would come and go. The biggest difference (other than the size of the hole shrinking) is the fact that now I CAN put some pressure on the back of my head with out it resulting in even a headache- much less a week long migraine. I can also run now, and go over speed bumps and what not with EASE! I can't wait until the hole is back to it's normal size and all of my symptoms are gone! You can bet I will go get an MRI when that day comes ;) Oh-and lifting things is no longer a problem either. Although, since I haven't really been able to lift anything very heavy over the past five years, I have lost a lot of arm, shoulder, and neck strength. I am now able to work on these things, though, and am doing so on a daily basis with not even a hint of a headache. Yay!!

and this is just awesome and FUNNY! I would NOT have been able to do this at ALLLLLLLL a month ago!!!

Here is the note that I sent to my lovely friend the night that my healing began:
"When everyone was praying for me, I of course felt the power of the Holy Spirit in ALL of their hands and words and prayers... as I was walking out, like I told you, I reached up to feel for my skull... or lack there of... and it was the same as always... no change. But I remember thinking, "Who gives a flip?? I know He's gunna heal me. He told me so. Plus, who doesn't like feeling the Holy Spirit when they are getting prayed over!?" As far as I'm concerned... I would be a happy camper if people just prayed over me 24/7! ha... anyways... I got in my car, and BLASTED the Jesus music... as usual... and I got literally within 100 feet of my house and the Lord was like, "Mmmm...Nope. We're not done yet. Go pull into that parking lot." (there is a park in front of my house... along with a parking lot for people who don't live w/i walking distance) So, I shrugged my shoulders and was just like, "Ok, Lord! Whatever You say..." As soon as I parked, I just felt the Holy Spirit THICK in my car... and was initially paranoid about if anyone was going to walk by my car, but the Lord was like, "No. Focus. Focus on me." And then good ole Rick Pino came on from the CD I still had blaring.... and girl, music moves my soul. So the Lord is ALWAYS using music to talk to me... it said "Holy, Holy... Angels gather 'round your throne, and around your throne, they bring praises to the Living One, to the Awesome One they sing... Holy, Holy, You are Holy... is our King" And the Lord was like, "Becky. You are my divine heir- you are holy as well. Sickness doesn't belong." And I was like, "OOOooohhhh SNAP!" Then I just started laughing at disease and sickness... and saw myself up there with the Angles who were standing around His thrown in Rick's song and I was just singing, "Holy" with them... and didn't give a flip about any disease or sickness that I have... it was just about Him... then all the sudden, my "sicknesses" appeared around the throne too... and I just started laughing at them too... because they are ridiculous... and they had to bow before His throne... then I just started yelling at disease and sickness... lol... and was like, "NO! I say NO to imperfection, (like trey said, and susie confirmed, and tonight chelsea said as well... she had no clue about trey saying that) because the Lord says that I am perfect! I SAY NO TO SICKNESS AND DISEASE, YOU HAVE TO BOW BEFORE THE THRONE" Then I just started yelling, "I AM PERFECT, I AM PERFECT" ha... yeah. there was lots of yelling, and laughing and it was just allll goood...." and I felt the Spirit doin' something in my body, and I reached up and was like... "hang on.... THIS IS WAY SMALLER!" Yep... so now the infamous skull hole is ridiculously smaller than it was... and I am excited to see when it all goes back to perfection ;). OH ha... and, of course, the Lord has a since of humor in it all... and startes messing with the CD and my stereo and it starts sounding SUPER strange, and I was like, "Um... Lord? What the heck?" And he goes, "Yep. I have control over that too..." And I laughed, and continued on singing :) :)"

A few realizations I have come to regarding healing:
• It is not about how hard I try, how hard I pray, or what I do- its all about simply being available for the Lord to pour His power into you. Its just about being- not doing.
• Distractions are an enormous part of the enemy's attempts to rob you of the Holy Spirit.
• When my healing began to take place, I wasn't even really thinking about my illnesses anymore- I was simply 100% in the presence of the Lord, praising Him and rejoicing with Him with every part of my being and regardless of my current circumstances. I was resolved to praise and worship Him either way.

I do still experience the other symptoms listed above and would really appreciate your continued prayers for this! The worst symptom being the very random and extremely severe shooting pains that I get on occasion in my brain.

Well, if you made it this far, I am proud of you! ;) I would be more than happy to answer any questions! Thank you sooooooooo SO much for your prayers! They are literally life-altering! BOTH times that hands were laid on me, by the next day, the hole was significantly smaller- so THANK YOU! :)

Asia!

2010-04-12T08:59:00.013-07:00

Well, It's official. I am going to Asia! There are two possible times that I will be leaving. Either in two months or not until around October/November. I will definitely let you know more when I know more! Now, of course, I need to get partners. Partners in prayer first and foremost! I need my prayer warriors to commit to praying for me daily. I also need financial partners. I will be there for an entire year. I need to raise some initial money, of course, and continue to raise money throughout the year. The organization that I will be going through is going to be giving me a little bit of money to help out, but I will need your help as well! If you feel led to donate, please do so! Pray about it first, though. Even if you are not in the position to give financially, please please please keep me in your prayers!

A little background in case you don't know: I went to Asia for two weeks in 2008. We worked with homeless railway orphans. We loved them, prayed for them, taught them, and fed them. This railway mission is a branch off of the parent organization. I cannot tell you the name, for security reasons. I will be working with the parent organization to help head up the media department. I will also be sort of a "field reporter" I get to use my degree! yay! haha... I will be documenting all the wonderful work that this organization does... I will also be helping them out with their websites and whatever else they need. If you would like to see pictures from my previous trip, please click here.

If you feel led to donate to my trip, please do so via the "donate" button at the top of my blog. It will remain there until I get back :)

Thanks for your prayers!!!

So freakin awesome

2010-03-22T09:55:00.003-07:00

If only I knew someone who wasn't afraid to get nude for art... well, and they would need a bit of patience too.

2010-03-16T15:06:00.003-07:00

Hey yall,
There is a slightly huge chance that I may be going back to Asia to serve for one year. The mission is with the same organization, but with different goals. Last time I went, we helped a program for street kids. Well, that is only one branch of the parent organization. I would be helping head up the media department for the parent organization. So far I feel very strongly that this is what the Lord wants me to do. I will update yall as I get more information. Please be praying for me! There is a good chance that my friend, Maya, would be going with me. Please keep her in your prayers as well! Thanks!

2010-03-11T18:32:00.002-07:00

SO SO SO SO SO SO COOL!

Digital Painting

2010-03-02T11:15:00.001-07:00

Are you ready for some outstanding digital painting? You better be, because it is comin' at you FAST! Take a look at the work of Tiago Hoisel:

Somehow he manages to mesh creative cartooning with extremely life-like detailing. Beautiful!!

Make sure and follow me if you like what you see! ;)

Eye Candy

2010-03-01T19:24:00.006-07:00

What's up Blogsphere? I bring you new eye candy... why? Because
I.
Am.
Obsessed.
With.
Art.

Um... I am a bad art blogger because I can't find the artist's name, but it's only one!!

This one:

Joie De Vivre:

San Weber- Lord of the Flies:

Siebe Warmoeskerken:

and OH my gosh... I HATE FLOWER PHOTOS! But these.... these are amazingly fabulous (from the same photographer). Check 'em out...

This is from the same photographer:

I highly suggest Checkin' out Siebe's site!!!

OK, I thought I was done, but then I came across Ibai Acevedo's photography:

Here is Ibai's photostream. DEFINITELY worth looking at. These people make me want to get back into straight photography. I also love that the above photo is totally centered. To me, it's saying, "Screw you 3/4 rule!" I like it's audacity.... and of course, the magnificent colors and the narrative it provokes.

Until next time.

Don't forget to comment and follow me!! :)

Stranded

2010-02-21T21:36:00.001-07:00

I am messing around with "painting" with photoshop and what not... thoughts??

(click on it!)

For your viewing pleasure:

2010-02-20T23:02:00.005-07:00

The first three are my favorite, and I am super frustrated that I dont know what media they used to create those, and I have no idea how to go about making one in that style myself.

My stomach has been upset all day long.

I'm irritated, but wanted to put pretty things before your eyes anyways.

Beauty

2010-02-16T16:44:00.002-07:00

I think I have come up with a solution to my "beauty" idea. this involves buying lots of magazines... and "making" or "stiching together" people. :)

i'm excited.

in other news... my hair is getting stupid-long. to cut, or not to cut?! THAT is the question!!!

2010-02-16T10:55:00.002-07:00

I have a need in my soul.

I NEED to learn how to paint.

This is goal #1 on Becky's list now.

It has been put off for too long.

Does it make me a nerd?

2010-02-10T15:52:00.004-07:00

Hi bloggy:)
Here are a few questions for you:

1) does it make me a nerd if I push up my glasses with my pointer finger pushing up on the nose piece??
2) does it make me a nerd if I know more than anyone would ever want to know about links, linking, websites, and search engines?
3) does it make me a nerd if non-fictional books interest me more than fictional books?
4) does it make me a nerd if I link you to my latest review for art fortune?
5) does it make me a nerd if I know of at least 25 social media sites, and I am constantly trying to find more so I can link myself?
6) does it make me a nerd if I am dying to buy my own domain name?
7) does it make me a nerd if I love to smell things? ex: film, wood, books, papers...
8) does it make me a nerd if I want to pee my pants because I made it into two more shows (this makes it three that I am in at the moment) and I'm FREAKIN' out because one is in NEW YORK?

I dunno... you tell me ;)

new new new

2010-02-08T20:36:00.001-07:00

Brand spankin' new website. Just uploaded it. I like it way better than the old one! As soon as I buy the domain name, the dang ad's will be off! yay! go look:

http://www.wix.com/rebeccarabb/beckyart

tell me whatchu think :)

p.s. I found out today that I got into two more art shows. One is in NY :) :)

Super cool

2010-02-03T14:52:00.003-07:00

Part of what I do at artfortune.com is search for topics (generally I look for artists that I like or something controversial). Today I came upon this!! This is all made from a SINGLE peice of paper. Amazing.

Can you say, "busy"?

2010-01-28T21:46:00.008-07:00

My how my life has changed in the span of a few weeks. Two weeks ago, I was staying up until 4 and 5am, and sleeping until... well, I don't think I am going to admit that to you. Yes, I am that embarrassed. Now I generally am in bed by 10:30 and getting up before the sun does! It's a strange feeling to go to work Monday-Friday, 9-5! Apparently, I have entered the working world- even if I am not exactly getting paid. I would have to say that it is worth it, though- not only for the experience (and the fact that I can put it on my resume), but now I actually know more than 2 people (those people being my parents) in Arizona! Who knew there were other people living in this state!? I am also kind of proud of the fact that I now have three articles posted on the Art Fortune website. Count 'em: one, two, three! (incase you didn't notice, I just linked you to all of them...). This weekend I will be going to the Ansel Adams Exhibit at the Phoenix Museum of Fine Arts, where I am supposed to take notes, and pictures so that I can write another article! That sounds right up my alley, seeing as Ansel Adams is one of the most famous fine arts photographers ever. I do have to say, though, that on occasion, I find myself day dreaming and loosing concentration while at the office. After all, I am sitting behind a desk for 8 hours at a time. When this happens (rarely, I assure you ;)) I start to compare myself to Will Tipin of Alias...

...if only I had a cool headset like he does. Then, I think my life would be complete. ;)

In other news, I managed to build a frame for my newly printed and mounted photo that is going into the gallery show! This frame is different from the ones I have made before. For one, it is made from oak. For another thing, it has a beveled edge! If you click on the picture, you might be able to see it. I thought that was pretty fancy ;).

One last thing worthy of mention: I cut my toe.
Crap.

OH, and I have an interview tomorrow (over the phone) for a Job (after the internship) at Urban Edge Promotions. I am hoping that it is legit, and doesn't involve standing in the mall and asking people if they want to try the hand lotion that I am trying to promote. Haha! I guess I will find out tomorrow.

Ok, so I thought of something else (I said "one last thing" a few thoughts ago... oh well) I am thinking of changing the background of my website to white. I don't know, it just seems too harsh the way it is right now! I like the edgy feel that it has, but I am thinking that maybe I went to far. PLEASE give me opinions! I want it to look good!! Maybe I have just seen it too much, but I am already pretty tired of it. White and soft green might be nice :).

Until next time...

Boomtown: Redefining the Southwest

2010-01-23T17:56:00.004-07:00

I got into another show! Yay! The title of this post is the title/theme of the show. It's at ASU, so that means I get to go to the opening! Hooray! Here is the photo that made it in:

Of course... when I originally scanned it from the film and edited it, the scan was too small and if I were to print it, it would be about 4 inches wide. No bueno. SO! Lucky for me, I got to re-scan and re-edit it. Oh well, I think this edit was much more careful and is better than the original! NOW it is about 22in X 15in. Thats more like it.

Im excited to start experimenting with screen printing. It actually has a lot of photography related stuff in it... like printing onto transparencies, and coating the screen (literally a screen... kinda like the screens that cover your windows... only the mesh is tighter) with emulsion (light sensitive liquid)... then, you put the transparency onto the screen in a dark room and expose it. The transparency is like a huge negative! I had no idea. The design on the transparency will block the light from getting to that part of the emulsion covered screen. The part of the screen that is exposed to the light will harden and not rinse off. Then, you rinse off the non-hardened emulsion (your design) from the screen. Now you have your design on the screen! Then, all you do is slap some ink on the top (see the picture above, on the left) of the screen... squeegee it down (picture to the right)... the ink goes through the screen where the emulsion is not and onto your paper (or shirt...), and you now have a screen print! My only worry is that I don't have the best printer or printer ink for printing on transparencies. My black ink may not be dense enough to block the light. I guess we will see!! Until next time...

Art Fortune

2010-01-22T16:27:00.003-07:00

You are now looking at (or reading the writings of...??) the newest intern for Art Fortune! After a weeks trial period, we have mutually agreed that, well... we like each other! ;) Right now they have me editing Artist biographies, writing reviews on art events, keeping up with their forum, and entering events into their calander. I must say, I was pretty excited to be able to write a review on the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston on just my second day working there! You can go check it out for yourself here. Yesterday I wrote another on the upcoming FotoFest. It should be on the website by monday. I think that I like writing reviews the best! Even though I SUCK at grammar, both the boss and the editor were very pleased with what I have turned in so far :) Thanks for your prayers!!! And thank GOD that I finally have something to do now! The cats and I were going crazy!!!

OOOoooohhh Deary.

2010-01-15T17:26:00.004-07:00

Well, yesterday I was bored out of my mind, so I decided to go for a bike ride. Once I was on the bike, though... I kept thinking, "What am I going to do once I get home?" So I just kept going... and going... and going.... 15 miles later, I decided my body could do no more, so I called it quits and went home. Today? My legs don't work very well. Haha! But when I woke up, I took two b12 pills, and had a few sodas. So I was a little buzzed. I got on the computer, checked face book... went over to Craigslist and searched for jobs. I managed to apply to one job, and an un-paid internship at a gallery around here. I just couldn't pass up that opportunity. Even though it is unpaid, It would definitely give me something to do during the day... and quite an ideal something, at that!! How fabulous would it be to say, "Oh, yes. I have to go to the gallery tomorrow!" When my parents ask me if I have any plans?! I get rather tired of saying, "Nothing." or... "I might ride my bike..." SO! After applying, I got an e-mail RIGHT back from them (ok, more like 10-20 minutes) saying they are interviewing on Monday and would like to set up a time with me!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOJesus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The way they put it, makes it sounds like I'm definitely not the only one coming in for an interview, so pray that I get it!!! I am SO excited, and would be just a little crushed if I don't get it. PLUS it will look WONDERFUL on my resume for grad school! Not to mention, any other gallery I apply to! I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!! After getting this news, I was even MORE amped (on top of the b12 and sodas...) so I decided to go for a quick spin on the bike again. It was only 5 miles this time, but already my legs are like dead weight! What was I thinking!? haha...

Beauty

2010-01-12T15:21:00.003-07:00

So... after a morning (er... afternoon/when I woke up) 1 mile walk, I settled down with some heat-up lean cuisine to watch a little Oprah. It was a make-over show.
"Alright.. maybe I will learn something." You know what I learned? These women came on the show... sure, maybe a little frumpy, but beautiful none the less. Of course, after the make-over, they looked gorgeous... but my mind kept returning to their "before" pictures. They most definitely did not feel attractive or beautiful, but they were. They could not see it in themselves so they hid behind clothes. This makes me sad. I would say that 98% of women don't feel their own beauty.
That sucks.
I've been thinking about doing a series (weather digital art, or photographic, im not sure) that comments on the beauty that most people don't open their eyes wide enough to see. I'm a little stumped as to how to proceed, though. How can I show/emphasize a beauty that few people see (especially the owner)? Maybe take an opposite approach? ....take the head of a beautiful woman... and put her on a fat body, because thats the way she feels? Maybe her left half is thin and fit, but her right half is fat, like she feels? I just don't know! I need your suggestions!

a few thoughts

2010-01-10T23:36:00.003-07:00

-I am ready for my lungs and nose to be back to their normal functioning order.
-I am itching to get in a good bike ride, but am fearful bc of my lungs.
-Surprisingly, there were a lot of penny haters. I dont understand ...have a little faith...
-My mom picked up some straight up b12 pills for me and my lack of energy. So far so good. I hope it keeps giving me energy.
-I have been sleeping so much (on my sides) since I have been sick that my hips hurt. (are you kidding me!?)
-Fellowship church starts new small groups soon. I'm a little leery... but determined to go. *Deep Breath*
-I still don't have a job. I might go crazy soon. I feel useless/restless, and I can't do a thing about it. BLAH! Oh well, I know He will get me a job soon enough.
-I really need to finish my most recent drawing and try to get it into competitions... I just can't seem to get in the mood.
-I am currently entered into two photo competitions... and will be entering another tomorrow. I hope I get into at least one!! **crossing fingers**

Pennies

2010-01-07T22:47:00.006-07:00

So, last night, my friend Cameron told me about how HIS friend had prayed, "God, will you stick this penny to the wall?" and it stuck. Cameron was also sticking pennies to the wall through prayer as we were talking. He challenged me to do it as well. As crazy as it sounds, after a while of trying and praying, they started sticking for me too! I was pretty amazed and found it quite hilarious! Here is a recording from that night (also seen in the post below):

I was PRETTY pumped about this! After showing my sister the video, she said it didnt seem too unusual to her... she then told me to stick one to the window. This one took a little longer to get it to stick... but it stuck. At 9:24pm, the penny stuck to the window.

It is now 10:53pm and it is still there.

By this point, I am addicted to this little game that the Lord and I are playing.... HOW awesome is it that my Jesus will take time to play a trivial little game like this with me? So simple, and yet... so mind blowing at the same time. Check this one out...the power of prayer:

I then leave my room to tell my parents about how the penny is STILL stuck to the window and how three are stuck on my door. My dad comes in to check it out for himself:

at this point, only one penny is left on the door (it stayed for five minutes) and the one on the windowl is still up

and here is one last video for you... pennies sticking to the side of the door only half way on/off. Cameron gave me this idea too...

Jesus is WEIRD and I LOVE IT!
(the original penny on the window is still there)

:)!!!

New adventures... and pennies sticking to things...

2010-01-07T00:05:00.013-07:00

Soooo, this Christmas, among other things, I received several rockin' bike accessories. Let me just tell you what they are: a headlight and taillight (for when the sun sets a littler sooner then I told it to), a water bottle holder (an extreme necessity in the desert), and a bike computer (tells you how fast you are going, how far you have gone on your trip and over all, and a few other things). Over a span of a couple of days, I was able to get all these items set up on the bike and ready to go. I was all amped and set to ride! I even set my alarm clock for sunrise (GASP!! ...nothing like a sunrise, though, right??) so I could go for an early morning spin. My alarm went off the next morning, and I was sick.
poot.

I am now coming around the corner and heading to the finish line with this little sickness of mine, but MAN is it frustrating! It just ZAPS the energy RIGHT outta ya. Oh, right... and I can't really breathe either. Stupid lungs. I guess the bike is just going to have to hang out in the garage for another couple of nights until I can breathe normally again.

Something I noticed while sick: my cats are extremely stealth and ridiculously sneaky...
I was in my room with the door closed, and had just settled down on my nice and comfy mattress. My eyes had just closed, and I swear, two seconds later I felt a little bitty cold nose press ever so slightly on my lower lip (soon followed by the worlds roughest tongue.)
It was extremely disconcerting.
While I am trying to calm my heart back down to a regular and steady pace... low and behold... ANOTHER kitty jumps up onto my bed. I looked at my door... yes... still closed. WHAT the heck. These kitties must be from the CIA.

Here is the main culprit:

In other news, I was blessed by Michael's company for a few days over here in good 'ole Arizona! (Is it still a desert here? I haven't been out to see it in a few days...) It is always great catching up with him, and having new adventures! The most notable adventure being our climb to South Mountain. OK..... so we drove. BUT!! We climbed down a little ways so that we could climb back up!!! OKOK!!! I climbed down... and he was forced to follow like a gentleman to sooth my worried mother's nerves. Never the less, it was still fun!

Feast:

(do click for a larger image)

And a few from the new cam (which I am holding in the above pic):

Good times.
Good Christmas.
Blessed life.
(now just pray I get this photography job that I applied to so I can start saving for GRAD SCHOOL! ;) )

OH, and my friend Cameron told me that he and God were sticking pennies to the wall... he challenged me to give it a try. Low and behold...

And they all lived happi... wait...

2009-12-22T00:41:00.007-07:00

Once upon a time, a little girl's parents move to Arizona's Maricopa County. After the little girl graduates from college, she decides to live rent free, and move in with her parents. Soon, the little girl notices that there is a prison about five minutes away from her new house in Arizona. "That's odd," She thinks.

One day, the little girl is sitting at home watching TV; Ancient Ink. She is intrigued since she herself has a little bit of ink under her skin. Soon, the TV host announces that they will now venture into one of America's highest security prisons where only the worst of the worst go to take a look at their tattoos. "Wow! This should be interesting!" she thinks. The TV host then gives up the prison's location; Maricopa County, in Phoenix, Arizona. "WHAT?!" The little girl is shocked, for she didn't know that the prison five minutes away was a maximum security prison. As soon as her parents come home, she gives them the grim news.
"We know," They say.

THEY KNEW. (?????!!!!!)

A few weeks later, the little girl is in the car with her father. He turns to her and discloses a story, "One night, your mother and I woke up to the sounds of a helicopter! It sounded so close! Next thing we know, the helicopter is right above our house, shining their bright spot light into our backyard, and the neighbors! They were looking for a prisoner who had escaped!" The little girl doesn't respond. She thinks, "Oh. Great. Good story."

**Flash forward to the present**
The little girl is sitting in her studio and around midnight, she suddenly hears a dog start barking. She ignores it, but soon she hears another dog join in the chorus. "That's odd," she thinks. More and more dogs join in and soon it sounds like a symphony of howls and barks! The little girl thinks back to her dad's story, and begins to freak out. She stands up. She looks around. Her cat jumps on the plastic chest of drawers and starts to growl. (Yes, she thinks it is weird that cats growl too.) "What do I do?? What do I DO?!" ...Thank God for cell phones... she calls her sleeping mother in the next room, and reports the news. Her mother comes out of her bedroom shortly after, and investigates with the little girl.
"Well, I don't see anything, honey. I don't hear helicopters either."
"YEAH! Daddy told me about the spotlight that one night!"
"Actually, It has happened twice now."

WHAT. TWICE??????? TWICE!!!!!! TWICE now, there has been a man hunt in OUR BACKYARD.

Awesome. I will sleep well, tonight.

Inspiring.

2009-12-10T17:56:00.002-07:00

This guy is not only a talented artist, but protesting something important. Check it out.

What the heck??

2009-11-20T14:31:00.007-07:00

WOW. So I get e-mails from places like "Art Bistro" and what not. They talk about the latest art news and different artists as well as giving artists advice. The headline today was this sculpture of Obama done by a Chinese man. While I think there could possibly be some positive interpretations like, "He's on fire with passion" or "He's burning with ideas," I dont think anyone can overlook some of the obvious negative connotations that a sculpture of this magnitude creates.

Come to your own conclusions, I guess....
Personally, I think that whatever you thought about Obama before... and whoever you voted for doesn't matter anymore. He is our president. GET OVER IT and support him... pray for him... be uplifting so that he can be the best he can be.

Meanwhile, I will just stick to trying to draw this guy:

oh... right... I got into an art show. My first pro show :)

Adam Lambert

2009-10-27T20:26:00.002-07:00

ARE.
YOU.

KIDDING ME?!

Arizona

2009-10-24T16:17:00.005-07:00

Well, it appears that I now live in Phoenix, Arizona! Christi was here for almost two weeks, and left a few days ago. So far, so good. I, of course, miss my friends horribly, but I have managed to stay busy so far. Today me and the fam went to an arts and crafts festival in Cavecreek, Arizona. The fair wasn't the best, but we did get to wander into about three galleries which was great. One was very snobby, and no thanks... the other was much better and had some more modern stuff in it. I got the owners e-mail address, and she told me to e-mail some PDF's of my work to her. She said they were booked through the holidays, but I don't mind! I would be thrilled if I was able to get some stuff in there any time! So that was exciting.

Right now I am working on getting an actual website up other then just my art blog. I am also setting up my studio! Yay! My parents gave me a room to use as a studio... exciting!? Yes. I am also working on a ring! It's taking FOREVER! it's made from a half dollar. Right now it doesn't look like much of anything... but oh well. I am just playing around, I thought it was a neat idea.

Man, I need to find a place that develops 120 film around here. I need to take more pictures too!! Anyways... thats all for now.

(leave me comments, yo!)

time for change

2009-10-06T19:10:00.000-07:00

its about time I did something crazy to my hair again.

;)

I think I might be a little crazy....

2009-09-30T23:37:00.003-07:00

Well, I think... I THINK I still have a right ear. However, currently it is of no use to me as it seems to be completely full or earwax and therefore effectively cutting off any and all hearing capabilities that it once possessed. The result: "WHAT??"

It has been FORever since I have read a really good, page-turning kind of book. And thank you LORD I have finally found one once again. Ah, life is sweet. I love finishing a good book in a day and a half because you just can't put it down! Although... now I don't have it to read any more. Blast. Thank goodness for sequels! (the book is called The Hunger Games, by the way. Check it out.)

I move to Phoenix in 12 days. (I should probably start packing)
Scared? Yes.
Excited? Yes.
Sad? Yes.
Happy? Yes.
You would think I'm on my period...

Exactly two weeks from today (September 23rd, since we ARE being exact) I decided I needed to stop making excuses as to why I am no longer going to the gym. "I'm too tired!" "I just worked all day!" "I just stood on my feet for nine hours!" I looked myself in the mirror (not really...) and said, "Self?! I'm tired of hearing your excuses and then hearing you complain about being fat. No more of this, self! You will go to the gym!" Naturally, I obeyed myself (is this not natural??). Week one was definitely difficult. I had to keep telling myself that if I just made it through the week, it would be an amazing feeling! Generally, when I get up enough gusto to go to the gym... I think, "Hm, I should do this more often." and then then next day I am sitting on the couch again, watching friends. No bueno. By day three, I am thinking, "YES! I have made it three days! I can do this!" and so I did. I lost 7 pounds that week and definitely with the help of watching the biggest loser while working out. Then came week two. The biggest loser warns me (well, the contestants, really...) that week two is the hardest! Your metabolism has just been put through the ringer (true... im not easy on myself when I go to the gym) and loosing big numbers means it goes into starvation mode. Most people gain back a few pounds in week two of the show! This is a bit of a let down, since I was wanting to loose another 7 pounds! How great would that be!? 14 pounds in two weeks! I then accept the fact that it won't happen but refuse to gain any back!! Let me tell you, I worked my butt off! And guess what! I didn't gain any back! YAY ME! Week two weigh in tells me that the seven pounds are still gone! AND I HAVE JUST WORKED OUT FOR TWO WEEKS STRAIGHT! Look at me go! Tonight was maybe the the WORST night ever, as far as NOT wanting to go to the gym goes. "My ear!" I tell myself. "I had to close tonight at work when I wasn't supposed to!" I try to justify... Then I realize that today is the beginning of week three and I just CAN'T start week three off like a little loser baby. I throw an internal tantrum. I am mad at myself for forcing myself to go. A very sweaty hour and a half later, and another inspiring episode of biggest loser tucked under my belt, I am feeling on top of the world! If I went to the gym TODAY, then there is no stopping me! Look out, biggest loser... I believe in myself... and I am comin for ya.

PEACE!

Oh Glorious Sunday...

2009-09-20T12:28:00.003-07:00

MAN! I remember on my way to and from Nacogdoches, I would pass this one church, and on it's sign it read, "A church alive is worth the drive!" EVERY-TIME I passed that, I remember agreeing with it whole-heartedly. Church of the Hills is definitely alive! Every church has it's problem areas (which keeps most from going), but if you can get past that and back to the heart of the church, then I think it is well worth it. Church this morning was definitely a celebration! Don't you just love celebrations?? Me too.

Go check out my art blog for new pictures :).

BEACH!

2009-09-08T08:30:00.005-07:00

Well, HEY blog! This weekend, me and four of my best friends went to Rockport, Tx. Although, just about the only thing we actually did in rockport was sleep and eat melted blizzards. We went to Port Aransas for the beach over there on day one. That was good! Ashleigh and I were the only ones not to get sunburned. Everyone else? Not so lucky. Although, I didn't put sunscreen on my legs... since nothing ever happens to them. Apparently I was laying on my stomach for a little too long because now the backs of my knees are pretty dang sunburned. SO RANDOM! It's only the back of the knee part, too! Strange. The next day I happened to pick up a local magazine and saw something about the Texas State Aquarium. So, off we went to Corpus Christi to see their aquarium! It was pretty dang cool! *Pats my own back* the beach there was way nicer too, so we camped out there for the remainder of the day.

this is what five girls in one car looks like:

Just me and the sting rays hangin out!

look closely, there are two dolphin heads stickin' out of the water there!

USS Lexington

All of us!

The only downer? I forgot to charge my camera battery.
UGH! all of those up there are from my iPhone. not too bad, considering, I guess.

2009-09-03T23:19:00.001-07:00

Tonight in CPHOP, I couldn't stop writing. Here's what I wrote.

Joy.
Like a tree dancing in Your wind, my heart dances for you, Lord.
Like a flower exploding into blossom, so my heart explodes in your Sun.

Oh... Lover of my soul.

Like a little bird soaring through a big sky,
So my soul soars through Your promise.

Oh... Lover of my soul, You set my spirit free.

Like rain falling into the earth,
So I gravitate to You.

My heart dances with You, my Jesus. Won't You take me away?

Oh... Lover of my soul!

You're more pure than the purest water!
Purify my soul.
You are deeper than the most infinite universe.
Show me your depths, oh Lord.

Oh! Lover of my soul!

Just as You shine Your warming light on the smallest of all creation, let Your light shine into the deepest crevice of my heart. Just seeing glimpses of Your face brings unimaginable joy, and untouchable satisfaction. Just one look from You brings me my saving grace.

Let me receive the favor that is in Your outstretched hands. The hands that never take back. You are the giver of gifts that never cease.

Oh... lover of my soul, conduct my symphony.

I say goodbye to all I know with hope and joy of what is to come. You are my safe raft in this dark ocean; in this storm of life. I cling to You because my life depends on the buoyancy of Your raft- which never fails.

I walk into the unknown, grasping your hand, for You are the bearer of the lamp that lights my feet. You are the lighter of my path. With you as my guide, I am guaranteed no stumble. I will not grow weak with hunger, for you are the bread of my life. I will not grow weary with thirst, for you are the water of my soul. I grow strong and tall, for you are my strong tower. You have placed me on solid ground. I will not sink into the sand.

May Your words flow through me with the grace of heaven. May Your kingdom be established in my very being.

Be the roots to my tree.
Be the fruit on my limbs.
Be the sap that heals my wounds.
May no one cut me down.
No one can cut me down.

You are the melody in my music.
You are the strings that strum my heart.

You are my Healer. You are my Provider. You are my Abba. You are my Daddy. You are Alpha. You are Omega. You offer tender romance. You leave me roses, lilies, and daisies in the garden of my soul. I thirst for nothing but Your quenching rain. So rain down over me. Fill my soul. Yes, rain down from heaven, Lord. Reign over me.

Thats just WILD!

2009-08-19T08:41:00.004-07:00

Hey, blog. Yesterday I woke up at five... pm. I know, I KNOW! Atrocious. I don't know what the deal was. I just kept sleeping. OH well. I DID end up going to the gym to work out, though. Now THAT is an accomplishment- and even on a lazy kind of day! I have definitely discovered something about my working out tendencies. Once I am there (at the gym, or on the bike) I tend to want to push it. In my mind, I am competing with... myself. Yep. I said it. I have to do bigger and better and stay at it longer then the last time! But by the time I am done working out (most of the time) I can barely move. The next day is no different. Then, when I get it in my head that I want to work out again, I think, "Ohhh, no. I don't want to work that hard!" I think I just tend to push it too far too much and then going to the gym looses its appeal. So, this time when I went, despite my competitive nature, I forced myself to take it easy. Guess what? It was nice, and I look forward to going again.

I just finished the book I was reading (I talked about it a few posts ago). There was definitely a little more sex than I had anticipated. The story line, though, kept me interested, so I just covered my eyes and kept going. In the book, the main character is the owner and operator of a wild life refuge. It was pretty cool, and since I love me some animals, it has peaked my interest in wild life refuges. For the majority of the book, it is a murder mystery and pretty suspenseful! So yesterday, when I saw this:

Naturally, I had to turn in and see what was up. Unfortunately, I didnt get too far. The murder mystery wasn't too far from my mind either, and I decided not to venture in for a look around. Maybe next time.

In other news, I got my graduation gift from my parents: an iphone 3GS! So far its pretty dang awesome! I even got a little lost yesterday while driving home and i just clicked on my maps, and it showed me where I was! Easy as that! What could have been a longer-than-wanted night time adventure, just turned into a U-turn, and I was back on track. Awesome. I also downloaded a Bible application, so now I can inconspicuously read the Bible ANYwhere I want to! Even at work when I am bored, or someone was just inCREdibly rude, or I am having a hard time loving a co-worker. YES. What a blessing!!

Well, I am off. I think I will go to Hobby Lobby and spend my gift card! On what?? Who knows!? All I know is that I have one, and its burning a whole in my wallet! Until next time!

I leave you with this:

(taken by my iPhone, of course!)

Boat Ramp Closed

2009-08-15T20:17:00.003-07:00

So, the other day, I was out driving because, lets face it, it was beautiful outside. I started taking pictures (of course). As I was driving around Lake Travis, I was dumbfounded by how ridiculously low the water is.

Yep. That is a boat ramp... leading to grass.

Here, the water should be just beyond the fence post. You can see in the distance Marinas that are deserted on the dry lake bottom.

Just some more evidence of global climate change and how we need to start paying more attention.

22 and a Grad too??

2009-08-13T21:20:00.016-07:00

Well, congrats to me!!! I now have a four-year degree (Bachelor of Fine Arts) from Stephen F. Austin State University!!

That's right! I graduated! I don't have to take another test for the rest of my life, if I don't want to! Although, I still may go to grad school. If I do, though, it won't be for a few years.

Today is also my birthday.... it was quite lovely! Woke up, got some texts, and calls wishing me well... then off to La Madeline for lunch with Christi and Ashleigh! Christi gave me some fabulously green presents! Lovely green towels, a great green box, and two CD's: Lady GaGa and the Ting Tings (who are amazing, by the way!!). Then as we were about to leave, we discovered that I had a flat tire. Awesome. So, off we went to discount tires to get it fixed. While we were waiting, Christi decided it would be a good time to get her oil changed.

Christi: "Do yall do oil changes?"
Discount tire man: "Uh... no."

Becky and Adam: "HAHAHAHA!"
No... discount TIRES doesn't do oil changes, so we went to Lambs instead.

After the tire incident, we raced back to the apartment, changed for a fancy dinner with my grandfather where he lives, and then raced over to his place.... "Westminster Manor." Just SOUNDS fancy, eh? And LET me tell you... they make a KILLER cheesecake!! When talking to my grandfather pre-dinner, he said, "Make sure you girls dress nice... you know, button up shirt with a collar." Wow, haha... I guess older men can keep up with current female styles after all! Or... wait... no. LOL!

After dinner, we met up with Ashleigh again and saw a very VERY horrid movie: G.I. Joe. It was maybe the worst acting in the history of the universe. I had high hopes for it, I did! PLUS CHANNING TATUM was in it! HELLO! Ok... maybe that is the main reason why I wanted to see it... I mean, CAN YOU BLAME ME?! Just LOOK at him!!!! At times, the movie was pretty funny... I have to give it that. The technology in it was kind of neat too. Hm. I think that might classify me as a nerd.

RIGHT....

...in other news, we may have the strangest cat in the whole world:

...and if that picture didn't convince you, then surely this one will:

Yep. OUR cat actually LIKES to get sprayed with water.
Who knew?

The Struggle

2009-08-11T23:31:00.004-07:00

After posting about 30 pictures that were from my India stash on facebook and asking for votes, I decided on three (GASP! WHAT A HUGE TASK!) photos to enter. Normally, I don't title my pictures, but this time I felt like it would be appropriate. 35 dollars later, these three pictures are now submitted:

The Struggle for Hope

The Struggle for Grace

The Struggle for Existence

While 9 out of 10 times, people are rejected from any show they enter, it is still kind of a thrill. The "what-if" factor always comes into play. It is fun to dream! I researched the juror too, she actually has traveled to India herself, and has some photos up that she had taken while there. Maybe that will be to my benifit. Anyways, maybe I will be accepted into my first real show!

Unfortunate.

2009-08-10T22:35:00.007-07:00

Tonight, I was bored, so I went out to get a drink (soda... mind you). As I was driving, I decided that I would stop by wal-mart to get some more comfortable pants for work. I open my visor mirror to take a look at myself... since I hadn't really all day... and decided that what I saw was a bit unfortunate, but not monster-worthy. I ended up going. I am pushing my cart into the entrance and around the first corner on my way to the clothes and what do you know? I see a whole group of people that I sort-of-not-really-know. Awesome.

Avoid!

I snuck around them, and ended up in the book section, where I got, Black Hills by Nora roberts. I am pretty excited about that, so I suppose the diversion wasn't a total loss. Lets just hope they didn't see me. Warily, I inch my way back over to the "fashion" section, and it looks like the coast is clear. The fitting room, however, is closed for the night. Unfortunate. I decided to look anyways, since it was just for work, and ended up finding... count it... one pair with belt loops (I have to wear a belt at work). Unfortunate. By this time, I am hoping that my awkward-acquaintances have left. But oh no! They are now in the next section I need that has the carrots! A necessity to my trip! Again, I am forced to wonder. Unfortunate. I DID find some beautifully green tuperware, though! This was NOT unfortunate! So, anyways, I manage to get all the things I need, am all checked out, and realize that my wallet is in my car... unfortunate.

Fast forward. I am home now, and decide I should try on my pants. They fit, but are about an inch too short. On a normal person, I believe these would be called capri pants. On Becky? They are just called awkward.Unfortunate. Lucky for me, I tend to be a handy person ;) so I decided to hem them. The pants are black, though, and my thread is white. Unfortunate. Being the logical person I am, I figure out a way that the thread will not be noticed, and low and behold, my capri pants have now been hemmed four inches so that they are indeed capri pants for ME! Sad. Haha...

In other news, My green tupperware is now the home to my wonderfully organic carrots and dip. Beautiful, no?

Bon Appetite!

2009-08-09T23:04:00.005-07:00

Christi and I just went to the lovely and EXTREMELY comfortable theater: Cinemark Cedar Park. MAN, we live the hard life. We saw, "Julie and Julia." I have to admit, it is totally the reason why I am writing again. The movie has a lot to do with writing blogs! Ha ha! It definitely made me want to have a project, like Julie did. After some serious thinking (the WHOLE car ride home!) I have decided that I will pursue doing something more with my India pictures. Ever since I left that place, and that experience, I have felt helpless. What can this poor little American white girl do to help??! Well, I DID do a documentary while I was there. SO! The plan is to raise awareness. Currently, my only idea is entering some of the photos into contests. If they are chosen to be in a show, they... well, they will be in a show!! Hopefully, they will touch someone! If I could ever raise money for the organization, that would just be incredible! This is my short term goal. If the Lord's hand is on it, like I think it is, then it shouldn't be much of a problem ;). I am hopeful. The long term, amazing-if-it-could-ever-ever-happen-goal? Put my pictures along with journal entries in the form of a book. Now THAT could raise awareness! Anyways, you have to dream, right? Alright... off to enter some photos! Wish me luck!!

just some thoughts

2009-07-20T19:38:00.004-07:00

So far, in taking this environmental science class, I feel that I have been greatly informed of... well... environmental issues going on around us. Even though taking this class is a HUGE task for me this summer, I think I will share a few thoughts, opinions, and some conclusions I have come to thus far. Keep in mind that these are purely my opinions, unless otherwise stated:

• 1.2 BILLION people live on less than ONE dollar a day. This has prompted me to try it out for myself... for two weeks at least. So far, it has been much harder than I imagined. I have also realized that, technically, it is impossible for me to live on just a dollar a day if I choose to continue to live in this apartment (rent, electricity, air, water...) and drive a car (gas). I didn't even think of that when I started. I suppose you can say that I have now modified my challenge to something more realistic for my current "status": I will not buy anything more than one dollar a day for two weeks. This does not include groceries. With all the "exceptions" I am already having to make, I am becoming more and more aware of how incredibly and undeniably blessed I am.

• I have been trained to believe that global warming is nothing but lies. This class, however, has given some quite compelling evidence that the REAL lie is that global warming is the lie. Either way, I still believe that we are in serious danger if we continue on the way that we are. If we don't make some serious changes, our planet will no longer be able to sustain our lifestyles. Since our globe's sustainability is not an immediate threat to our lively hood, we seem to carry on regardless of this monstrous problem (even though we are already beginning to feel some of it's pains...).

• I have come to believe that the source of all of the planets problems is greed.

• Love is the opposite of greed.

Now take this one on for size:

"Many of the factors that contribute to mortality and disability are a matter of choice. People engage in risky behavior and subject themselves to hazards. Thus, they may eat too much, drive too fast, use addictive and harmful drugs, consume alcoholic beverages, smoke, sunbathe, engage in risky sexual practices, get too little exercise, or choose hazardous occupations. People generally subject themselves to these hazards because they derive some pleasure or benefit from them. Wanting the benefit, they are willing to take the risk."

oooooohhhh Jesus!

2009-06-23T19:24:00.003-07:00

Tonight I was blessed enough to co-lead the worship for Cedar Park's House of prayer. Can I just say that charasmatics KNOW how to DO IT?! I've never lead for such an enthusiastic group of people, and let me tell you, it was wonderful. The Lord is so awesome. I just love to sit in His presence. I could do it all day. He just gives me the MOST joy! I'm so blessed.

(and if you don't know, there are "houses of prayer" all over the place. My friend, Audra, felt led to start one for Cedar Park. And there you have it.)

OH! I brought my favorite camera (the Diana!!) and was able to take some pictures when I wasn't playing. At one point, I had my camera around my neck, and WAS playing and singing... thats pretty much as close to heaven on earth as it gets for Becky Rabb. Cameras, guitars, and Jesus? Heck yes.

WHAT?!

2009-06-21T16:58:00.005-07:00

WOW!!!! I am so excited! I just got my own darkroom, pretty much, for TEN DOLLARS! The enlarger only fits 35mm film, but I think I might be able to switch it out!

Here is the enlarger (AND SAFELIGHT TO THE TOP RIGHT!!!):

She threw in developing cans too! Reels and all!

THATS NOT ALL! I got a dryer for the prints, and two developing trays! I just need to shoot some film and off I go! I am TOTALLY going to try out the coffee and vinegar developing process!!! YEAH! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! I am in HEAVEN!!!!!! She also found two photo books... just glancing through one of them, I saw instructions for color development. OH my gosh. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it.

June 16th

2009-06-21T00:44:00.003-07:00

OH MY GOSH! I can't believe that I forgot! It is the 21st! Every year I make a post on June 16th because that is the day I had my surgery. I guess its a good thing I forgot... it seems like every June 16th for the past several years has been kind of dark/depressing. Well, I can definitely say that last tuesday (the 16th) was actually a very great day! It was the second meeting for Cedar Park House of Prayer and my first time to attend. It was truly great to be so strongly in the presence of the Lord again! I think Audra said it best... there is NOTHING like being surrounded by burning ones, not to mention... the Fire.

p.s. check out my art blog for some new pics :)

I'm ga-ga over GaGa

2009-06-18T21:10:00.003-07:00

Is she drunk?
maybe.

Is she Dracula?
Maybe.

Is she weird?
Maybe.

Does she have talent?
Do I love her?

absa-freakin-loootly.

A few things

2009-06-14T11:25:00.003-07:00

So its been a little while since I have written! Since my last "recycled" book, I have moved to Austin and in with the sis! Here are a few highlights of the time gone by:

• Cooking rice... it gets MUCH MUCH bigger as time goes on, and takes up much more room in the pan.

• I am taking an environmental science class and its making me even more of a hippy than before. I want my first car purchase to be electric.

• I am still meat free. PRETTY much dairy free except for a couple of times. Now I feel guilty, though. I have three so very precious kitties with the cutest kitty faces and I just can't imagine what it must be like for the animals we use. It makes me really sad.

• I really want to start making lots of journals and see if I can sell some.

• I have an interview on Monday at Rudy's. While its not NOT my ideal (um, its bbq-MEAT-after all...), I will be working (christi... I have the hook up and know I am already hired.) in the country store and NOT the bbq lines. I really really really am looking forward to getting a pay check again.

• One tree hill writers are just fabulous!! After watching all of the Alias seasons a while ago, the show got REALLY predictable! One Tree Hill (so far... only watched through season 2) is not predictable at all! I mean, sure, its FREAKING dramatic, but oh so yummy. It's got the drama of the OC without all the ridiculous drugs and major breaking the law. Yes, please.

• I really want to do something extreme like going on a hiking/camping trip for a month.

• Rice takes WAY longer to cook than I expected. And it JUST KEEPS GETTING BIGGER!!!!!!!!

Recycling

2009-05-19T23:05:00.004-07:00

I don't recycle. It's no secret. Truly, it sort of confuses me... "What? Where does this go? Wait... why doesn't this count??" Don't miss-understand me, though. I really support the idea! I am simply clueless as to what and how. This is, perhaps, why I am so pleased with my latest journal creation:

Made out of completely recycled materials. The cover is made up of empty boxes that once housed cereal and crackers!

The pages come from brown paper bags!

There is a built in bookmark for your convenience.

The book is even sewn with left over thread!!

Here is the blurry back cover.

OH and I guess I could show you the books I made for my book arts class. We had to make an edition. Two books equals an edition! WOOT! lol... it was pretty dang hard... let me tell ya. Take a gander:

**Disclaimer: The content IS a little negative, but I think that I make up for it on the last page :).

In other news: my apartment is a freakin' mess because I am packing up and moving on Thursday.

It's.

Driving.

Me.

CRAZY.

2009-05-16T15:36:00.006-07:00

I know. You probably don't want to look or watch. Ignorance is not bliss, though. Be informed and make an informed decision rather than choosing to ignore something just because it hurts you to watch or read. (Shouldn't that tell you something right there?

PetSmart Supplier:

Net Art

2009-05-11T22:10:00.010-07:00

Apparently there is a "new" emerging art. It comes to rest in the "New Media" category of the art world. This something is called, "Net Art." When I first heard it a few weeks ago, I was like, "Wha...??" I couldn't quite understand how to make a website... art. This was our final project in my web design class. One of the requirements was that our site could not be informational. So, for example, making a site for a company would not work. Also, making a personal portfolio website would not work. Initially, I was STUMPED. What the HECK else was there to do with a website then to give info? Isn't a website really just a fancy advertisement anyways? Well, apparently my assumption was incorrect. And so, I was brought into the world of Net Art. Most of the examples that I was able to find online were HORRID. For real... just DUMB. I did find some pretty neat ideas, though... like this one:

You can actually go and try it out for yourself using just your mouse. You choose your OWN words to "swing" and by simply moving your mouse back and forth, the magic happens. Try it out for yourself:
Click the link below. Once there scroll down just a little and click, "launch swing mouse version" and there you have it!
http://erikloyer.com/index.php/experiments/detail/swing/

Now... I have NO idea how to do something to THAT extreme! He did some major program making for that one!

The majority of what I came across in the "net art" field is more something like this:

go and be horrified for yourself : http://linkoln.net/abeandmosingtheblogs/

Well, I definitely figured I could come up with SOMETHING that HAD to be at least (if nothing else) more visually pleasing the epileptic MESS that is the website above!!!

So, with no further adue... I give you MY "net art" website. Check it out:

Go there yourself to find out what it is: http://netart.freehostia.com
**hint... there are three hidden links with in the main page and a few that linger further down the line.**

Meanwhile, I am designing my own portfolio site. It isn't online yet, because I am not done! Here is a sneak peak for you though...
The top part:

After scrolling down:

obviously I will not have the body of the "about me page" read, "About me!" That is just some filler text for now! :)

enjoy!

Broadening my horizons

2009-05-11T08:28:00.005-07:00

Alright, so here's the story. My sister picked up this book one time on a whim while at Barnes and Noble. She ended up buying, and walkin' out with it in tow. Over the course of her reading it, she discussed it with me. Makes since. She was learning new and incredible facts that anyone would be excited/passionate about! She was discovering some hard to find truth!

Meanwhile (and before) I had been wondering mySELF about how much of what I do (some willingly, some just out of ignorance) contributes to my lovely medical conditions? How much of what I do is AMPLIFYING these conditions and their symptoms?? How much of what I expose my OWN self and body to... how much of THAT is the REAL problem and am I wrongly attributing these things to my medical conditions when really its not that at all?!?

Honestly, this had been constantly nagging at me in the back of my mind, I even went to the doctor once in search of advice... looking for the answers to my above questions! Was how I was currently living good?? Or could I do better? I know... I know... everyone dies! But while I am alive... I want to be as ALIVE as I can be! Problem: I am in college. I have NO time and life outside of school. In order to further and adequately look into my questions, I would need LOTS and lots and LOTS of time! Time is something that has not been a luxury of mine for the past several years. SO... in the back of my mind is where my questions remained, and I continued as normal not really knowing anything better. OH and by the way... the doctor did NOTHING and told me NOTHING that helped me or answered my questions. I was having some minor aches and pains and didn't want med's as a quick fix... apparently this is a foreign idea to most doctors. If there is a problem? Solve it. Don't look for the cause, just make it go away. After telling her I didn't want medicine... she threw out a few terms like "tendentious" or ... actually I don't even remember what else she labeled me as having. As soon as she threw them out, I tossed 'em away like a hot potato, because in my GUT something didn't sit right. I didn't want something like... a cast, for example, to simply help something heal. I wanted to know WHAT caused that injury to happen? Was it something like drinking and driving? Ok. Simple. Stop drinking and driving. SOLVED! Not just fixed. Was it because they are a child, and were being reckless and fell off a ... I dont know... a horse? Well, know that kid knows better, don't they? SIMPLE. Horses are HUGE powerful creatures! You must respect them and pay attention!! SOLVED! Not just fixed. I wanted to know WHY 99% of the time, I did NOT feel like a normal person. WHY! I didn't want to know how to mask it with meds, so I could more easily ignore it! (*Disclaimer: Some medicines are good! Some are able to provide things for you that your body isn't able to provide for you by itself! I have no problem with those medicines. But I don't want to just pop and prescription strength pain pill because I have a MASSIVE headache that 4 over the counter tylenol pills cant even handle. I want to know WHY! WHAT is the ROOT issue!) Right. So, doctor dearest didn't help me at all, was the point of that.... and the fact that all of this is still just lingering in the back of my mind and there was currently nothing I could to about it.

Back to my sister and her book. When she would talk to me about it, I would understood the topic to be: why vegetarianism is better. IMMEDIATELY my defenses came soaring up and into place. "Christi! God gave us animals to eat!" (*Wrong. He gave us animals to have dominion over. Yes, it is true... I believe that we CAN eat them if we so choose... but LOOK around! How much plant and vegetation life is there compared to animals??? Doesn't that tell you something? Maybe, just MAYBE we should be eating more plant food then animal...?!) Next I would say, "Where will you get your protein and iron from?? We NEED meat!" (*Wrong, protein is in almost every fruit and veggie and especially nuts and seeds. The average american OVER-consumes protein because the meat industry has lead us to believe that we NEED meat and that meat is the only source of protein.) Or I would say, "Honestly, I just don't care that much that an animal had to die so I could be healthy and eat meat." (*Little did I know, that there IS truly, nothing "wrong" with pure meat in and of itself. But the meat market now is so money-hungry that they resort to disgusting extremes, both in cleanliness and in the use of chemicals (like growth hormones and pesticides that are illegal in most other countries) IN the food that the animal eats which we then, in turn, eat... and the conditions of their nutrition... which is then OUR nutrition! SO needless to say, I had my reasons why I didn't want to read the book, because along the way she told me that I just HAD to read it to know! I had even MORE reasons why I didn't want or think I needed to read it... to pile onTOP of my anti-vegetarianism stance. But... she caught me. Remember those lingering questions I had in my mind? Well, she asked me one question, to which I couldn't deny that my answer was a resounding, "YES!" She said, "But, wouldn't you just like to KNOW simply what is good for you, and what isn't??" "Yes. YES. DEAR LORD. YES! FINALLY."

And so..? I read it. Reluctantly, of course(!), and with skepticism already firmly in place(!), but at least she couldn't say that I didn't read it.

Truely? I hate the title.... because its NOT about being skinny. But like they said later on in the book... they had to get people's attention SOMEhow! And apparently being skinny is IT right now. It did tell me what I wanted to know, though. I had my answers... I now KNOW what I am eating because I read the ingredents list and DONT buy things that I can't even pronounce. Yep. It is a little more money. I would rather eat actual food though, then shove and pour chemicals down my throat that resembles food.

Yesterday was my first trip to the store after having read the book. I have always had a HUGE mental block (as most people I know do!) against anything soy (especially soy milk!)!! Well, I sucked it up and bought some. Don't knock it till you try it, right? Actually, giving way to my HUGE mental block, I didn't even get "soy" milk initially... I got this "rice milk" stuff... but then thought to myself... "If I don't like it, then I am stuck! I might as well buy a little thing of soy to at least TRY as a back up if I don't like the rice milk." While plugging my nose, and making a horrified face, I picked up the two different kinds of "milks" and put them in my cart. (OK! ok...I Didn't actually hold my nose. I just made the face.)

I now give you my first experiences with soy milk and natural cereal (kids cereal, of course!!!)
The suspicious and new "food" I was about to try: (insert cautions and horrified face)

and guess what. YOU HEARD IT HERE! From the BIGGEST critic there was.... I couldn't tell a difference. Visually? HECK yeah! It LOOKS horrible! Thats why all those companies wanted to make REAL food LOOK better because its more "pleasing" to us! But honestly?? The stuff tasted the same! I was SHOCKED and kind of horrified YET again that something so foreign to me could be so normal tasting.

My reaction: (LITERALLY! I reacted and snapped a picture of my reaction!)

So there you have it. Soy... it doesn't kill you. It in fact, makes you stronger.

(side note, I had been successfully grossed out by the way our meat is handled by christi before I read the book. It has been like a month and a half now since I started avoiding meat... if nothing else for OTHER people so I wouldn't throw up on them or in their "food." Since then, I have more energy (literally was able to function for two days on only 2 hours of sleep which would have been a JOKE before). My skin is clear (haven't had to take THAT med ever since I started avoiding meat... which I didn't even really think about until yesterday), and over all, I just FEEL more human, AND my moods have been MUCH better!)

Bored.

2009-04-28T21:31:00.001-07:00

I am in the digital lab.
It is 11:33 pm.
Book Arts is kicking my AZzZz.

While I was (am) sitting here in boredom, I ventured to YouTube. Check out what I found:

Pretty tight, huh?

Yeah. Thought so.

Dreamin'

2009-04-26T08:20:00.003-07:00

I just got done watching a little mini sermon about dreams. Actually, it was called an "infusion." Not "prophetic" dreams or anything like that... OUR dreams... dreams like, "I want to be ________ when I grow up!" It was pretty awesome. He said that the Lord gives us dreams. When we pursue those dreams, we are placing faith in the Lord that we are of a royal inheritance and that He will help our dreams come true. We are at our best when we are living out our dreams because it is what the Lord has made us for.

He said we watch someone's dream coming true on TV or in a movie and it entertains us. We don't take responsibility for our OWN dreams, though. Too often, when we get older, we allow the toxins of discouragement and disappointment to build up in our lives. they then decide things for us.

This is SO true! How many people do I know who saw a job come by that had a nice salary and they took it?? They knew it wouldn't serve to further their dreams, but they took it because it paid the bills. They settled. I know that sometimes you have to have a job "here" to do "this." I know that. But I also know that I have a great opportunity coming up. I am blessed enough to have parents who will support me and let me live with them. What is my dream then? What is ideal for Becky Rabb? Being an artist. It is not ideal for me to work in some portrait studio. That sounds like nothing but a dream SQUASHER and monotony. It is not ideal for me to pump out logos or design websites, even though I know how to. No... my ideal is to live and work as a digital artist. My ideal is to be accepted into shows and to have people enjoy and respect my art. My ideal is to have people BUY it so that I can be a professional artist. Will that happen? I dont know. I sure and going to give it a go, though. I have a great opportunity... my parents are accepting me back into their home over in Phoenix. Maybe I don't know anyone there for a reason! People and relationships are great But, they can also be VERY distracting! Maybe the Lord is giving me this time to work. Even in classes at school, you are trained to think that your art will get no where, that it wont pay the bills, and that your name will never be recognized. They tell us about random jobs that you can get and things you can do OTHER than what your true love is so that you can pay the bills. I can see the benefit of this, of course! Never once, though, has any one professor encouraged us to work our tails off to be the best we can be and to be an ARTIST! Not only do I hope to fulfill my dreams, but I also hope to be able to come back one day and look my prof's in the face and tell them JUST that. Not a single one of them DREAMED of being an art professor. No, they dreamed of being artists... but this is what they stumbled into. I don't want their future. I want my own.

"Poor is the pupil who does not surpass his master"
-Da Vinci

Maybe one day I will look back and think, "Oh, the naive hopes and dreams I had."
Or, maybe I will look back and think, "Wow, see how the Lord has blessed me??"

my job is just so tedious.

2009-04-17T20:38:00.003-07:00

soooo... When the internet is down at work, it turns out that I take a bunch of pictures with my phone.

This is my hurt thumb (last night)... nice and swollen. (band-aid left on for emphasis.) It may not look big, but it sure is deep! OW!

This is what I hurt it with. I actually HEARD it slice. It cut through a little vein.... and bleed for a really long time. Like... from three till when I went to bed (which was like around 3am). What can I say? I'm a bleeder.

I was scolded by my mother dearest, my sister, and friend (Kristina) because I didn't "clean" it... just rinsed it off. (In my defense, I was lucky not to have passed out! Veins freak me out! You expect me to CLEAN it!? lol) so while I was at work (and after the internet went out and I was walking around the photo lab to stay awake) I discovered a first aid kit. I decided to appease my three naggers ;-) and give it a clean since it was feeling a little better today.

These were my medical instruments... band-aids, cleany things, and neosporin:

First, I soaked it so the cleaner junk could get in.

Then I cleaned it. **note to self... this will hurt:

Looks better, no?

Then I bandaged it after applying neosporin:

Last, I caught up on the first aid tips approved by the University of Medical Emergencies:

yay me! I did all of it but call 911... haha, that was not needed.

Beauty From Ashes

2009-04-16T18:31:00.000-07:00

Click.

RRRRRrrrrrrRRRRrrr

2009-04-15T10:35:00.006-07:00

Hey, blog world! Somewhat of a breakthrough has been made. For nine years now, I have said, "no" to movies with the rating of "R." Many many many times now, I have been told by a friend or two or more that I just HAD to see _________ movie because it was amazing and it changed their lives. Amped up about it, I would go online to find its rating and see that the movie my friend spoke of was rated R. I have missed a few (although, not many because I have truly nice friends) outings because of the rating of the movie of choice. While at blockbuster with friends, a movie would be picked up, flipped over, and then a sigh would come forth from the lips of my friend, and the movie would be set back. It would have been rated R. For the most part, my friends and fam have been truly understanding and supportive of my "just say no to R movies" mentality these last nine years. Well, now I announce to the world that the nine years has come to an end. Thats right ladies and gentlemen, Becky Rabb now watches and has watched R rated movies. My first was Garden State. I have always heard people talk about how much they loved it. I decided that I would watch it. I decided this was something that I was going to do on my own as well. I didn't/don't need the help, advice, or pressure or friends on this particular issue. I wanted it to be my decision and only mine. I have taken this "no R movies" thing really seriously for the past nine years and so the decision to no longer have this rule for myself was honestly (as insignificant as it may seem to some) a big one.

What I have discovered:
• I hear more "F words" at school than in the movies that I have seen thus far.
• I still don't like the "F word." When ever I heard it, wether at school, or in a movie, something deep inside me stirs.
• Of the three (count 'em... THREE! lol) R movies I have seen so far, I have come to realize that just because its rated "R" doesn't mean its straight from the pit of Satan's den (ok, so I exaggerate a little). It very well could mean that its truly just for a more mature audience.
• I am really excited to see more. The ones I have seen so far (not all... and some just in parts) had mastery in thought and skill as far as the execution of the movie goes, as well as acting. I am actually beginning to see movie making as even more of an art (not that I didn't before... just more so now). Its making me become fascinated with the way some people's minds work. WHO thinks up some of these stories? I really could not imagine coming up with some of these story lines. I love a good twist at the end of the movie (6th sense, anyone?? STILL say thats one of the best twists I have ever seen!) and the twists I have seen thus far have been quite fabulous, some having even more than one!
• I still have no desire to see some of those movies out there (saw!!! why? just... whyyy???), and I will continue to avoid some. As for now, though, I am pleased with my new outlook.
• This experience has also helped me see that sometimes, I just take things too seriously. Sometimes, this is a great thing to do, but on others its just not that big of a deal. My mind was making this whole thing way WAY bigger than it needed to be. I think this applies to many areas of my life, honestly. Sometimes I am just so close minded. This has been something that I have realized this about myself over these past few years at school, and now even more so. Some things just AREN'T that big of a deal and I am thankful to have finally learned that lesson (hopefully)!
• I still say there is no need for cussing in movies (or life!!)!!!! lol...

SO! Now that a whole new world of movies has been opened up to me, any suggestions on some truly quality movies??

2009-04-14T23:22:00.003-07:00

heres a little something I came up with on the fly:

feedback?
I have also decided that I am no longer answering the question, "How did you do that?" A magician does not reveal their secrets... why should I?? ;)

Thinking of you...
April 15, 1985 - April 15, 2008

It's still so weird.

SCORE!

2009-04-11T16:39:00.004-07:00

So, today I went to good will in search of old vintage looking/antique photographs. Sometimes goodwill can have some majorly useful stuff. I was looking for them because I want to start making digital art again now that I know what I am doing in photoshop and what not. Here are some examples of how cool using antique photos can be:

this one kind of sucks, but at least you can get a general idea.

this is a little closer to what I am talking about, but still not all that great

anyways, hopefully you can get the idea. Seriously, though... that first one is awful. gross.

moving on... while i was searching goodwill high and low, a glass case full of cameras caught my eye. THIS is what I found!!!!!!!!!

ALL of this for just 30 dollars.

HOLY COW! I nearly peed myself while trying to play it cool so they wouldn't change the price or decide not to sell it! So far, from what I have seen online, they go for at least 50$ but I also saw them for around 200$. the original film that polaroid made for it is no longer being manufactured. You can still find it though, and film that is equivalent. I am pretty pumped to find out if it works or not. the bellows look like they are in really good condition still. Actually, the whole thing does... just a little dusty! Hopefully I will have some BALLIN photo's to show sometime soon :) alright, gotta go work on my book now. PEACE!

what the??

2009-04-09T14:02:00.002-07:00

Yay! Today's going to be a GOOD day! I have FINALLY caught up on my sleep. Which means that I can CONQUR the world. OK, I probably couldn't do that... I just get excited when I actually feel like a normal human being! AND I don't have work OR school today! I can't remember the last time this happened and I didnt have to go to austin or... SOMETHING! I finally have the time to work on my book for class like I want to and not in a WAY too rushed kind of way. AND get this... I am blogging from HOME! This is a sure sign that I have free time.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

2009-04-08T14:47:00.004-07:00

Hello! Apparently I only update my blog now when I am at the photo lab. Today I am here for six hours. WHOA thats a lot of sitting and doing nothing! Oh well, it's kinda good because I get caught up on things (when I am not updating my blog).

Gosh! My head feels really strange. I think one of my neurologists miss-diagnosed me with migraine headaches. I was looking on WebMD and I fit SOME of the symptoms but not all... now, CLUSTER headaches... that one was almost a perfect match. The severity of my headaches vary SO much, which they say happens with this kind. They also seem to come and go in well... clusters. lol. I don't always have headaches, but when I do they normally last for a week or so! Anywho, I don't know why but its comforting to be able to like... put a diagnosis on it. Anyways..

One of my photos got into the art alliance show. There were not that many photos accepted into the show, which is REALLY annoying. Some of the stuff he did accept was RIDICULOUS! Some weren't even show-ready... aka: framed or mounted or whatever! The chair of the department literally apologized to the photo students b/c of the juror's choices. Too often this is the case in shows that accept a variety of media. If the Juror isn't a photographer or doesn't know enough about it, then it's not good enough to them to be considered "art." Needless to say, all of us photo majors and minors were TICKED. This has not been the first time I have entered a multi-media show and then this ends up happening. I am thinking of starting a series of photos and then painting on the prints or something in a tongue-and-cheek manner to say, "Is it art to you NOW?" annoying.

Right, so anyways, I am also starting to take pictures of what different church signs say. Some of them I just CANT believe! Then some are so cheesy, I know that I would never set foot in their church even if I had to... then others are extremely welcoming. The things that a church sign says... or don't say... can make a huge difference. They can also lend to the "christianity is a judgmental religion" stereotype in one of the most obvious and straight forward ways. hm. We will see what happens.

a few pics from my shooooow:

(thats the chair of the department down there!!)

baller books

2009-03-15T01:09:00.004-07:00

the front:

the back:

inside:

the mess and muck of the background is supposed to be life and all of its crap and confusion. detail of front:

there are pages from the dictionary on it too with at least one word that I thought was appropriate on the page. the word "love" is meant to stand out and to be the most clear because Love supersedes everything:

this morning I did this:

holler.

Laaaaalala

2009-03-11T14:40:00.002-07:00

Well, I am feeling much better now! yay! Thats always good!

I was looking more into Savannah College of Art and Design, and wow, I was pretty impressed! I think I will apply. Like now. The only question is, do I go the e-class route and work, or do I just dive in and go to the school itself. The campus looks really awesome, and not ancient like SFA! haha... ok, so I guess there is another question.... will they accept me??? Pretty please, SCAD? Thanks.

I have completed my book. YAY! I haven't taken any pictures yet, though. I will post them shortly, I assure you. I am in the photolab again, though (seems to be when I update now a days) and can't take pics of it, haha. I have about half of my photo's matted! YAY! It's going way quicker than I thought, actually. OH and cute boy was here too. We talked :). He's cute. He's white too!! WHAT?! yeah. I'm shocked too. Ok, back to work... at work. haha
peace.

Hello, hello.

2009-03-09T14:50:00.004-07:00

So, its been a while, no?

This past weekend I was sick... and I mean SICK! Holy mother of Mary. My dr. gave me a new med, and uh... it didn't sit well. I took it Thursday evening as instructed and next thing I know, I wake up at 3am with cold sweats and my stomach decides that it just doesn't want that pill anymore. Up it came... and then again.... and then again. It's now monday and I am just beginning to feel human again. Dang. I thought I was going to die a few times there. It was pretty horrible. My loving sister came up to take care of me Saturday. I don't know how I would have managed to return to a normal-ish state without her. I really needed some protein and electrolytes but I had none and even if I did, I'm not entirely sure I could have gotten up to get it myself. I was pretty dang weak. As of now, I would say I am still weaker than normal... but as long as I can sit down and rest a little from time to time, I am good. I bet tomorrow or the next day I am back to normal! It's really irritating that such a little TINY (for real, it was so small) pill can just knock you out cold for days! NOT COOL.

So, Christi and I are planning to move to Savannah, Georgia.

Things are coming along for my show. I had chosen about 30-something prints to show and after it was passed through my major prof, it slimmed to about 24 or 25. I feel like I have built like 60 frames, but no- try six. Strangely, I still think I have gotten a lot done. Those six frames have been a huge learning process! One of the frames took three days to build because it is so SO dang big!! You know, though... I wish I could just like... splatter neon paint all over the frames and mattes though... just SOMETHING! I really really really hate doing things the "conventional" way. Initially I didn't even want to do frames, I wanted them mounted on like... pieces of old doors or something... but time got in the way and I had to make a decision on what to do. I would also just love to get a big ole hammer and hit on the frames to make a statement about how too much emphasis is put on frames and matting and mounting and perfect this and perfect that... blah blah blah!!!! ugh.

Anyways, I have managed (I am at the photo lab) to go get some test prints printing in the digital lab while still manning the photo lab (honestly, not as bad as it sounds... ummmm, hope thats ok. I think talbot would say it was... dunno about the other. I am actually out of things to do other than write in this (while waiting on those prints and studying for mexican art history, for which we don't even have a test until next week. Can I just say that I can't wait until my show is just... all over with! Then it should be easy going! Until then, though, I continue to make frames and matte and make frames and matte!

...only four hours and fifteen minutes left till I can go do whatever I want :)

Ok, so in my book arts class, we are actually making a book (finally!!). I have it all squared away. The only thing left to do is cover the book board with... well, whatever you choose! He offered different solid colored book clothes to cover the books with, buuuuut, you know me.... that just seemed boring (plus, I was feeling pretty horrible still this morning so I was able to leave after he showed us how). Anywho, later I wandered over to Hobby Lobby and got creative ;-). I am excited about my book cover and secretly hope that no one else is doing something "special." Wow. I'm lame. Oh well.

Guess I will go check on those prints now. peace.

2009-02-28T19:02:00.000-07:00

2009-02-25T15:32:00.003-07:00

click.

Zeal

2009-02-23T06:13:00.004-07:00

"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the lord."
-Romans 12:9-12

I read this familiar verse this morning, but i tried to slow it down a bit... soaking in each word and seeking out its meaning. Its really easy for me to just glide my eyes over familiar verses, but they are familiar for a reason. Some wise person somewhere recognized the coolness of the verse and eventually everyone memorized it! lol... well, one word stuck out to me, and you might know what it is... since it IS the title of this little blog! Haha! Zeal. I know what it means, generally speaking. But, ever since I met Jane and Jelly, I always hear them asking, "What does ______ mean?" If they were to ask me, I am sure I could give an adequate definition, but I wanted to look it up for myself. There is nothing like the ACTUAL definition.

"Zeal; Fervor for a person, cause, or object; eager desire, enthusiastic diligence."

Ok... what about "Fervor"? I have heard that PLENTY of times, but what is its definition? What does it MEAN?

"Fervor; warmth and earnestness of feeling, intense heat, burning heat, intense devotion, passion."

"Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord."

The next question that comes to my mind is how do I do this? It's so SO very easy to loose my zeal and fervor! My ENTHUSIASTIC diligence and my BURNING PASSION for the Lord!

"Never be lacking in *enthusiastic diligence*, but keep your spiritual *burning passion*, serving the Lord"

For some reason, I read that part differently this morning. Before I read it like, keeping your passion WAS OUR act of serving the Lord. Well, what about this: keeping your passion BY serving the Lord!
Awesome.

RIGHT as these thoughts are going through my head, I wonder what the study notes in my bible say about it. Check out THIS coolness: "spiritual fervor, "Fervent in spirit." If "spirit" means "Holy Spirit" here, the reference would be to the fervor the Holy Spirit provides."

SWEET! All people who are saved are giving the Holy Spirit!! The Holy Spirit gives me that BURNING PASSION! So all that means is that I need to be ever mindful of the Holy Spirit living in me and I will be FILLED with BURNING PASSION.

Wow. Praise the Lord.

Frame-tastic!

2009-02-16T07:03:00.003-07:00

And let there be frame.

(this is the back side)

Ideally, it would have only taken 8 cuts, however seeing as this is my first frame, it took quite a few more! Haha, lucky for me, most erred on the long side. one was just a TAD too short so I just trimmed my matte a little and, BOOM it fit beautifully. All that is left for me to do is go buy some sealer to seal with wood so it doesn't turn colors, seal it, glue it together, and stick my print in. Oh, that reminds me... I need to get a staple gun too... to hold the print in place. YAY! I have more side pieces at home gluing so i can just GO when I need to make more frames for my show. SWEET!!! :)

Handy...woman? At heart...

2009-02-15T13:08:00.002-07:00

YAY! I am actually MAKING frames! Ok, I'm not quite all the way there yet, so maybe I should hold off on the celebration, but It's fun!! The smell of wood is in the air up here at work! Yep, I brought it all up here. I went to Lowes (very quickly, I might add) and bought some poplar wood. Its probably more expensive than I would have liked to spend, but then again, its MUCH cheaper to make your own frame, rather than have hobby lobby make one, or even to buy an already made one. Just a little elbow grease, and some "know how" and WA LA! There you have it. (well, hopefully!)

I bought a miter saw and put that together. I was pretty proud :) :

Cut some wood:

and then glued:

I only had enough spring clamps to hold two of those together... one of them is dry now, so I will go and remove the clamps, and get another one started! Once I have four of those, I cut 45˚ angles and put together my frame! Yay! I will let ya know how it goes, but if all goes as planned, I will have my first hand-made frame made and ready to go by the end of work!

Wow. Senioritis, for sure!

2009-02-14T17:23:00.004-07:00

Ok, Im ready to be done with this place! I have had many MANY good times, but oh man, I am losing motivation to work... Ok, in truth, I have plenty of motivation if I think about it, but I am tired of trying so hard!! lol... when it really comes down to it, I still do try hard. I can't stand not doing my best, but it is gettin' old.

I think tonight I am going with Sienna and two more of her friends to be with her to get her first tattoo. Nice. Should be fun!

I wish I had more exciting things to say! lol... I'm just back up at the photo lab! Oh, I figured out how much they pay me. It's more than I thought it would be, so thats pretty cool. Still not that much, but I don't do much, either! OHHHH I just helped someone for the first time. NICE. Problem solved thanks to your local photo lab girl! It was cute boy too. haha

Well, here are some pictures that I've taken most recently. If I shoot digital, I like to shoot at night mostly, and long exposures. I demand you to click on them.

Oh, I uploaded the pictures I sent to API (the organization we went to India with) on Flickr. Its mostly the kids we saw and worked with, and not really the entire trip. I wanted a site dedicated to India! I took them off of my art blog because most of them changed, anyways. Take a gander:

The Orphans of India

I don't have too much to report! I suppose I will go work on the website I am makin' for class. Aw! So responsible of me! There are worse things to do!! haha
PEACE

Saw XI

2009-02-10T19:17:00.010-07:00

Once upon a time, there was a family of four who lived in a little yellow house which sat upon 10 acres of land. About a five minute walk from the little old house was a big old barn. The barn wasn't red, but it served it's purpose. It held a trailer or two... some old and unused horse stalls... tools, and even served quite nicely as a storage space- with room to spare! One day, while Mom and her two daughters were inside the old yellow house, Dad decided he needed to cut some wood. Out came the wood. On flipped the table saw... and so he began to cut. Mom and her two daughters were minding their own business inside the little yellow house when all of the sudden a heart-stopping, bellowing ROAR came from the barn. Mom was quick to react, "STAY IN HERE, GIRLS!" She raced outside, surely breaking a record in getting to the barn. The two young girls exchanged frightened looks and waited anxiously by the windows.

When Mom and Dad got back from the emergency room, Dad's pointer finger was just a bit shorter than when the day had first begun. Frightened by the thought of the saw CHOPPING off the tip of their dad's finger, neither girl ever laid eyes on that table saw again.

_________________
about 10 years later...
-------------
Rebecca, the youngest of the two girls, is sitting in her Professional Practices course in the Art department of Stephen F. Austin State University. "Today, class, I will demo the basics of building a frame for your art work." Rebecca's attention shifts from her laptop to the professor- she has been eagerly awaiting this day. She knew today was the day that he would show them how to build frames, otherwise she would probably still be in bed instead of in her 8am class. She was running on only three hours of sleep, but nothing would keep her away on this day! "Ok, lets go to the shop! Follow me!" Rebecca nervously stands... she hadn't thought about the fact that his demo would include.............. a table saw. She knew she had to be brave, though. After all, one of her mottos in life is to face your fears HEAD on! Don't just take the easy way out! Learn something new! Everyone piles into the shop and takes their seats. The professor is talking... about something... Rebecca doesn't absorb much. She mindlessly scribbles down notes while staring at the shiny, sharp, finger-cutting blade. "Alright, so you make your first cut like this..." Rebecca's eyes grow wide, wider than they have ever been. The saw flips on. Rebecca flinches and averts her eyes. The searing sound of the blade ripping away at the meat of the wood mercilessly comes forth. Rebecca's heart races. She fiercely regrets only getting three hours of sleep now. The fatigue that she feels, mixed with adrenaline is not a fun feeling, she decides. She begins to sweat. Her foot taps nervously against the floor. Finally she forces herself to watch. "Come on, Becky! FACE YOUR FEARS!" The self-given pep talk doesn't work. This is a strange feeling for Rebecca- there is not much she is afraid of. The professor drones on and on and on, all the while making more torturous cuts that seem to tear away at Rebecca's nerves rather than the wood. The saw turns off. Rebecca takes a deep breath. "It's over," she thinks. "You did it."
"Now, to make the 45 degree angle cut, you use this saw over here..."
Rebecca's head JERKS in the direction of the professor who she sees lugging another saw over to the table. Having had enough, Rebecca decides she needs a "bathroom break." She swiftly exits the shop, and heads for the classroom. This is where she sat until the class and all of it's members returned. About an hour later, her heart finally returnes to its normal functioning speed.

______
for the Womens ministry ladies (everyone else, feel free to ignore):
click for a bigger view. keep in mind that anything can be changed, or mixed and matched, and these are just some of the fonts I liked and that weren't to cliche for "women." There is still a plethora of other fonts on the program I used. I was just playing with colors too... actually, I was just messing around in general. all of the letters can be outlines, OR solid. I can even manipulate the letters themselves. like the middle one, for example... I changed the "N" so that the "2009" could fit. the right most part of the "N" wasn't that thick. i messed with the green letters also, so it looked like it all flowed together. anyways... someone said "simple," so thats what I played with :) i thought it would be funny if it just said, "women" too, haha! oh, dang... i forgot about the WWF thing! well, anyways...

Nothing too monumental to say

2009-02-09T13:46:00.004-07:00

Ohhhh blog! Take in a deep breath and then release it with a relaxing sigh. Do it with me now, will you? Ahhhh... the feeling of having time again in life. I WAY over-studied for an art history test I just took. Ridiculous. It was perhaps the most stupid, most repetitive test I have taken in all of my college career. I always think it is necessary to study the heck out of the material, though, in a new class and a prof you have never had before. You never know what the tests will be like. I could have just listened and reviewed my notes, though. I don't even know that the book is needed. It was only like 2 dollars, though, so I guess I can spare that. OH I don't even want to give examples on how simple and easy it was. It is irritating that I spent so much time preparing, but a great feeling knowing that this class will be a breeze. Boring.. but a breeze.

In other news, I actually was more responsible (for the most part) about my sleeping habits this weekend. I had a feeling that it greatly contributed to my tiredness level. I think I was right. I went to sleep last night (even after studying! wow!) around 11:30. Normally, I would still be pretty dang sleepy the following day since I need so much sleep, but I was not. I think this is largely due to being better at sleeping and waking up like a normal person on the weekends as well as during the week.

I feel like I have established a little bit of a routine finally for this semester. It is always a little unnerving to me to not know what to do next (Unless I just need chill time). Everyday (except friday... no class) I go to class from 8-2pm. Then I have class or work again from 6-9. Awesome. I like having the same time schedule for each day. I decided that in my time gap between classes and work (or another class) I would grace Java Jacks with my presence and work on school stuff. So, here I am. I figured I deserved a little bit of play time too because I read SO many millions of pages about FREAKIN' maize and how it was wild and the archeologists were trying forever to figure out when and how the Mesoamericans domesticated it. Isn't your mind numb JUST from reading THAT much?! Yeah. Mine too.

There are some interesting characters in here... as is usual. One young girl and her mother. I was CERTAIN she was homeschooled but then she started talking about class. Hm. Maybe my homeschooler-dar is faltering. Sad. Shes really pretty, actually. It's cute. Her hair is all frizzy because she has yet to discover the powers of moose/gel to tame those curls. Ohhhh to be young again. There are also the business men (which I never understood. Shouldn't they be at work, and not at a coffee shop?), the college students, old-timers, and the resident creeper. Ok, actually I have never seen this creeper before, but there is normally at least one here. Oh yes... fanny pack and all. He keeps getting up and wandering around. What the heck?

Work has been pretty non-eventful. Just the way I like it. Ok, actually I only like it that way when I am in school and need time to study... otherwise, I FREAK out because I don't have enough time for school work. So far of all the THREE (gasp) days I have worked, a total of ---drum roll please-- ONE person has come in! He wasn't even a beginning student. He has 24hr access. I was, therefore, irrelevant. He was cute, though. I didn't mind.

To summarize, today has been nice. Perhaps a product of (oh dear, the man next to me is talking to someone. His voice is very irritating. Whats with me and strange sound annoyances??! I'm so odd) a new found schedule, sleep, and enjoying friends. I stole Jane and Jelly away to Java Jacks with me for a little while before they had to go to class. Jelly said she would come study with me when I am at work. Yay! I heart them.

OH OH did I mention that I got adobe CS4??? yeah. be jealous. ok... off to work on a website. I'm so cool.

Brilliance.

2009-02-03T06:24:00.002-07:00

"Hey, GENUIS! Remember how you felt this morning??? Exhausted. Dead. GO TO BED AT 10."

Yes, this is the note that I have left myself for tonight. Painful, isn't it? I think my body truly starts waking up in the PM. Once I am awake, I don't want to go to sleep, and seem to easily forget how hard it is for me to get up in the morning. I figured I would leave myself a little reminder. It's sad really. It's like the responsible and childish parts of me are at war with themselves. The more I type the more I am sounding Skytzo. Sorry... such is life in my crazy little brain.

This morning I made myself get up at 5am and take a shower because I knew I wouldn't want to when I first woke up for REAL. I also knew it would give my hair time to dry and ultimately make it easier to fix. *GASP* Did I just say that I fixed my hair? Yeah. I did. Straightened and all. A little bit of mascara even adorns my eye lashes, and at this early? Who would have thought? You know why all that happened? Because I left myself a note. On my phone which acts as my alarm. I knew that last night I would be thinking more clearly than the early/groggy (and frankly;dumb) morning Becky would. It turns out I was right. I was able to remember that this morning when I woke up. I took a shower (and the meds). Read a little while the pill took its nice little time to slide down my throat, and then went back to sleep. Hmm. Maybe I should leave myself notes more often. If it works, it works. No?

Last night around seven, I went shooting (pictures, of course. Who do you think I am?). I think my new obsession is the different colors of light. Does that in itself sound boring? If I were to title a series, "The Different Colors of Light," would you be interested enough to click on it, or to view it in a gallery? Tell me the truth, now. I am not very good at titles. I know how the photos make me feel, but putting that into short concise words tends to be difficult for me. A title really can make or break the show/piece.

Guess I should get to class. Be looking for those new photos. They are soon to come... along with the better versions of the India pictures (well, just the kids). Peace.

GET UP!

2009-01-29T13:19:00.007-07:00

Hello blogging world. I suppose I am mainly updating so that my mom and sister know I am alive and not, in fact, dead. My phone, you see, is in Tyler, Texas. I, however, am not. Lucky for me, there are still gentlemen in the world who will mail it back for you. Technically, I suppose, my phone is at the post office. I should be getting it shortly. While I am here, why don't I just update anyway? Ok. I will.

Every morning my alarm goes off four times; 6:00, 6:15, 6:30 and 6:45. At 6:00, I wake up and take my energy pill so that by the time that I am supposed to get out of bed, I actually will. After the pill has been mindlessly swallowed by my non-functioning brain, I go back to sleep. The alarm then waits 15 minutes, and goes off again. The hope is that I can begin to wake my body up even more by the time I am supposed to get out of bed. At 6:30, once more, the alarm chimes and this time I am actually supposed to get out of bed. The hope is that the energy pill has now started to take effect and that the act of picking my body up and removing it from it's cozy little bed will not be as painfully difficult as it normally is. Occasionally, even this plan fails, and, therefore, another alarm is set for 6:45 (incase I am still reluctant to rise and shine). Ridiculous? Perhaps... but it is indeed effective. I now know of it's effectiveness first hand because this morning, I tried to skip my first class. I failed. (Did I mention that I have 8:00 classes every morning? Yeah.) When my alarm went off this morning for the third and "you-are-supposed-to-get-up-now" time, my body resisted. I was up last night until 1am (I never knew how hard it is to go to bed at a "reasonable" hour all on your own until now.) I decided (or, my body, rather) that today was going to be a class-skipping kind of day. Unfortunately (for my body), my mind would not shut up even as my body was SCREAMING at it to do so. Slowly, I realized that my mind would continue its endless chatter (even as I laid in bed), and ultimately, my body would loose it's fight to drift off back into never-never land. I groaned. I sighed. I got up. Time for class... I was late, but I went. Incredible.

Thats all for now, blogging world, but I promise to update in a day or so. Don't you fret. Until next time...

The desires of my heart

2009-01-17T19:18:00.004-07:00

I was reading this book last night... and among other things, it made me realize how much I don't want to settle. The main character in the book is semi-newly divorced. She talks about how in the beginning of the marriage it was pretty great- even through the struggles like finances, but somewhere along the line they lost the love they had for one another. On top of that, and maybe more importantly, she says she lost herself, her femininity, and her desires. Her days consisted of taking care of the kids and as soon as her husband gets home, she pushes them off to him and "escapes." Wow. How much do I NOT want that? I really do hope to have an adventure-partner in the form of a husband, but I do not want to settle for ANYTHING. I don't want to loose my dreams, my desires, my femininity. I want to only do things that I like and things that I believe in. I want to be surrounded by those who support me and love me. I want to be cherished, and I want to cherish those who cherish me. I want to explore... I want to go to Europe and stay there for years! I want to live in the country-side of a foreign land... so remote that I could run around outside naked if I wanted to... I want to be able to paint in my "backyard" something that inspires me simply from what I see around me. I want to live for a time with no internet and no tv- nothing but books, art and hopefully, my love. I want to live passionately. I want to love passionately, and I want to be passionately loved. I will not settle for anything less. I will not settle for the status-quo because it is not something that I long for- it is anything but. I want to have a make-shift darkroom in my bathroom using only coffee, and vinegar to develop film. I want to use the bathroom as a darkroom more than I use it as a bathroom. I want to always have a camera around my neck, even more than now. I want to find alternative solutions to expensive photo equipment like using the coffee, or just buying a lamp for the "lighting" techniques that you can do instead of flashes, or remote flashes, or strobes. I want to buy colored saran wrap for "filters" instead of a "real" filter. I want to use film instead of digital. I want to do my best to live simply and not buy what I "need" because its "better" (supposedly) than anything else. But most of all, I want to do all things in my life to influence others for the Lord. Never have I felt more cherished in a relationship than the one I have with Him. I long to meet Him face to face. There is nothing more in this world that I truly want than to spend time with my Abba, and being able to physically look at Him and touch Him, and love Him and hug Him. I want to hug Him more than I want to take my next breath. He is the perfect Love. All I want is Passionate Love.

ohhh, just some randomness

2009-01-07T14:44:00.003-07:00

lately I have been sleeping in until like... (prepare yourself) 5pm. I think I mentioned something about that in an earlier post. I realized this was silly and therefore i am now actually going to do something about it to get back on a normal schedule! I was just reading or watching tv until like... 5am everynight and then slept till 5pm. I coulnt seem to make myself stop watching or reading! so when I was still sleeping around lunch time (when christi would get bored and wake me up) I would just go back to sleep when she left! the past two days I haven't taken my energy meds either so that encouraged me to just sit and be happy sitting. haha... it truely was fun, I must say! I didn't get much done, though. I will admit that. Its my break though!!! I am soaking it up for AAAALLLLLLLLL its worth!!! anywho, I went to bed at three last night instead of five and i plan on going to bed even earlier tonight! WOOT! I have taken my energy meds today and even gotten up and gone to eat with the sis! I was planning on going downtown to get some medium format film but realized that I would hit rush hour traffic if i went now. I will go tomorrow. today, I must go to wally world. i actually LIKE going to the new one! its nice. although, I always want to buy way more than I need. it reminds me of target. target is AMAZING!!!

ok, random, but I was thinking that If I had an endless supply of money, what would I do with it? Other than paying off all the fam's debts, I would TOTALLY buy the coolest place in Austin to live. maybe even an apartment building and just bust out the whole top floor for me ;-) and my ART STUDIO!!! or, actually, I think I would get an apartment building with garages and bust out all the walls in those and THAT would be my studio! YAY! Then the rest of the apartments in my building would be for friends and fam if they need or want a place to stay! Christi had a good idea too, she said she would tell her friends to quite their jobs and she would pay them weekly. i said that some people might not want to do that because it takes away goals they are working towards so thats when she said she wold give them the option. I was trying to figure out what car I would want to buy too, but I haven't come up with anything yet. I am not too current on cars right now! I would have to look into that. Then I would buy the BEST mac desktop and laptop and a ridiculously big and expensive camera. haha... of course I would do the same for Christi (camera optional) and then for michael and a VIDEO cam for him instead of a picture camera. Christi mentioned paying for anyones schooling for whatever they wanted to do! I thought that was a good idea too. OHH! The UPS truck is here, maybe my ram is in it!

I need to enter "Texas National." its an art show that SFA puts on, but its open to all artists all over the nation. It costs 35$ though, which I don't just have sitting around with buying the battery and RAM and all. Anyways, top prize is $3,000! second and third get something too... not that I can remember, but I really think I have a chance to place in this show with my recent work!! wow, WHAT a great savings boost THAT would be! even AFTER I bought a new laptop and gave Chris this one ;-). I think the deadline for entries is in a few days. I have never actually thought that I could place in a show before with the work I entered. I hope I am not wrong. How amazing would that be? What a blessing it would be!!

michael, dont hate on the randomness and the time I put into thinking about what I would do with a whole lot of money! I said I would buy you stuff, so don't hate, punk!!!

Life's a Grind

2009-01-02T18:54:00.012-07:00

Hey blog. I am sitting in Its a Grind Coffee House now, listening to a man play a 12-string guitar, and very skillfully I might add. Its extremely pleasant and has managed to change my irritated mood entirely. See him?? I snuck a picture with my phone.

He is in the middle of the pic. haha, I'm a creeper.

These past few days have been very productive! This is strange, actually, as I seem to have taken a liking to sleeping in until 3pm... or 4pm... or 5pm... ok, ok! I know! 5pm is ridiculous! But the only times that I actually did sleep that late, I had been up for a few hours before... so really it was just a nap! :)

WHOA the man is singing now, I didn't expect that. He is very good.

Yesterday I went with Michael to the Mac store all the way down in barton creek mall (holy cow, that mall always amazes me. Its so nice!) to get a new battery for my laptop! Hooray! Now instead of lasting 4 minutes, it lasts 4 hours on one charge! Amazing! I just ordered some more RAM for it too, it should be like new very VERY soon!

Oh dear, he started whistling... off tune. Not so great. Just stick to singing, no?

Ok, so after the Mac store, we went to Walmart and among other things, I had a key made for myself to Christi's apartment so we dont have to keep passing hers back and forth. I now have 8 keys on my key chain. I don't think I needed that 8th one. There is also a car remote and a flash drive. My key chain is pretty huge. I suppose I could get rid of the Gold finch house key, eh?

OHHH HE PLAYS A HARMONICA TOO!!! sweet. I'm impressed.

After returning Michael to his home, I went to the apartment and put up all the christmas decorations, tree included, and then hung up a big ole heavy mirror on Christi's wall because now it looked really bare with no tree and such. It still bugged me, though after hanging the mirror... I moved the stuff around a little... still a little bare looking, but better, I have to say.

Today I cleaned out my car, vacuumed it, and got it washed. Yessss, I always feel so much better when I do that. What'd I do then? OH I remember, I went to half price books to try and sell my text books that the professors didn't re-assign for the next semester. The guy there told me that I would be better off if I tried to sell them online. I thought that was nice of him to suggest as I hadn't really thought about it. I took his advice, and they are now listed on facebook marketplace. I suppose I could list them elsewhere too... I dunno.

Oh, I think one of the employees here was the whistler... not the music man. He really should stop that.

Anywho, I went up to Rudy's to be with the sis and take advantage of their free internet and munch a little bit (where I got my car washed too). It was there that I listed my text books, looked into some plexiglas buy-age for my ginormous pictures, sought out some RAM to buy, responded to a few messages via facebook and hotmail, and now I am here. Thrilling story, right? Well, maybe not, but I did get a lot accomplished I didnt even list some!! lol... ok.

I have been reading a lot lately in my free time. I have read The Shack (fab, I recommend!) which changed/challenged my views on having a relationship with God. Very interesting, and in story form!!

I have also been reading the Mark of the Lion series
for the second time (AHAHA! Hes singing "I will survive" now!!) Which I also highly recommend! The first time I read it, I was kind of disappointed because the third book changes main characters, sort of. The characters were in the 1st and 2nd books also, so they weren't new, but they were not the main characters in the first two books. Now that I know that, though, I think I will enjoy it more.

One more, I just finished House. I dont know what I thought about it. I mean, it wasnt bad, but it was kind of the same thing going on the whole stinkin' time. It was pretty creepy. I have never read a creepy book before. That was a new experience! I mostly read at night, too... I got pretty scared sometimes! haha! I didn't like leaving at night! I did, though, and was afraid! lol. Im silly.

In other REALLY random news, John Travolta's son died. He fell while in the bathroom and hit his head on the bath tub. A house keeper found him in there unconscious. By the time he was at the hospital, he was pronounced dead. How horrible is that??? He was 16. Honestly, what a random way to die. I am sad for his fam.

One last random story. I was returning some "red box" movies at 3am in the morning (I know, weird) when I saw a raccoon. It was very close and was drawing nearer. Immediately, my friend's raccoon story flashed to my memory. She and her boyfriend decided to feed one when the saw it around the art building one time. It scratched her, and bit her boyfriend. We all freaked when she told us because raccoons are rabies carriers. So, naturally, by this point I am terrified. The little creature sneaks up behind my car, sniffs it, and then peers around, and stares at me. By this time he must have gained more courage because he comes out from his hiding place and takes a few steps towards me. I glare at him (while wilting inside) and then decided it would be best to hiss at him. I did. I felt stupid. He looked at me like I was crazy. Maybe I was, after all it was 3am. I continued glaring at him, holding my ground and worrying horribly about my open car door and if Mr. Raccoon would want to go for an early morning drive. I must have stared him down, though because he began retreating back into the shadows of a lone tree. THATS RIGHT Mr. Raccoon! I will take you DOWN! You better run!!! I then proceed to return my movies despite my trembling hands. OH yeah. Raccoons don't scare me!!

OH my goodness. The music man just said he would take requests. An employee (yes, I do believe it was the horrific whistler.) requested any beetles song. He's now playing Blackbird Fly... just like that. He goes, "If I kinda know how the song goes, I will try anything you guys want." Um. He's just playing Blackbird Fly... on the fly. Amazed.
Peace.

2009-01-01T23:17:00.002-07:00

Hey blog! I sit here writing in the apartment! I found some internet again. YAY! AND guess what... my computer isn't plugged in and it has been longer than three minutes... its still on!! WOW! I bought a new battery today :) I don't really have much to say... I got a lot accomplished today, acutally... got the battery, made a copy of Christi's key, took down all the Christmas decorations, hung a huge 'ole heavy mirror... said bye to brittany... anyways, not much else to say. haha, exciting blog huh?? :)

show downizzle

2008-12-29T14:42:00.004-07:00

i learned something last night at showdown. if i feel depressed, sad, upset... whatever... instead of just praying about it, turn on music, worship jesus, and he fills you with the joy and peace that you lack. interesting. so, i actually learned a few things... the other thing: think about tongues. the Lord gives you a language that you don't understand. you know what you are saying, but dont understand the language you are speaking... like spanish or something. the lord intercedes for you and allows you to speak in spanish. prayer language is similar... only this time, you are speaking the "language" of the lord with moans and noises that YOU cant decipher, but you know what they mean. they are the groanings of your heart, the aches and pains it feels, and they are simply being vocalized. the Holy spirit understands your heart, your soul, your feelings, what you are groaning and intercedes for you on your behalf and speaks it to God for you. The speaker told us that when we are in these moments, to pray that the Lord will reveal to you what you are confused about or dont understand if this is your case.
it was so cool.

What the heck

2008-12-28T14:34:00.003-07:00

School doesn't start back again until the 21st. Sigh. I feel stuck. Im sleeping on a couch, and have nothing to do in the day but sit on the same couch and watch re-runs or read. I feel like I am wasting away. If I had a job, I would feel better, because I was doing something. If I was at school, I would feel better because I am working towards life goals. Just sitting on a couch everyday is kind of horrible. I have nothing to work on or work for. I guess you could sum it up with extreme boredom.
Depressing.
I enjoy breaks, but now I feel like I am in a waiting period.

Well, cool.

2008-12-23T18:45:00.002-07:00

I was talking with Michael last night over coffee and mentioned my, "Arizona or Austin after graduation??" delima. He said he thought I should try to stay in Austin. He would tell me if I was being dumb and should just suck it up for the perk of no rent in Arizona. This got me excited, because truely, my heart is in Austin. I told him that I would probably end up getting a job from my minor and not my major. My minor is "digital media" aka: graphic design. I told him I had no clue where to even START looking for jobs in this category in Austin. "google it," was his response. Oh... right. I googled it. There is a WHOLE PLETHORA of job listings on jobopenings.net. Wow... lets list a few: Apple, 3M, Dell, LeapFrom, Games Inc... HOW COOL would that be to work for a TOY COMPANY or a GAME COMPANY?! For serious, ever since I saw the movie "Big" I have always thought it would be SO AWESOME to work with toys or games! Anyways, I am really excited at the possibilites that my little degree offers. Alright, I am off. The fam is watchin Home Alone, haha. Arizona for Christmas it is!!

Ohhhhh Its CHRISTMAS!

2008-12-22T14:57:00.006-07:00

YAY! I love Christmas! Last night Christi, Brittany, Audra, Ash, and I all had a Christmas dinner party :) It was just lovely! Although, I was having some strange upset stomach/gag reflex thing going on. I don't know what that was about. I tried to ignore it, though and have fun anyways! It was a fun little event to remember and hopefully repeat!! Let your eyes enjoy:

As you might have gathered from the post below, Michael is in town!! YAY! I love him. I haven't gotten to see as much of him this break as usual. It's a little strange! I have been pretty dang broke for the most part, though, and haven't been able to really do much of anything. I was able to get hired, though, by my aunt to photograph guests as they came to her Christmas party. This reminds me, I thought I had a blank CD but I don't- I wonder if Clay does. I just e-mailed her, so hopefully she does! That money helped, FO SHO. I am now done with my christmas shopping! I also have a little extra moneeeey so tonight me and michael and rebecca are going to alamo draft house to see... well, I don't know what we are going to see. I have been so disconnected from the movie and radio world! I don't listen to the radio much anymore... just pandora and CDs... and I don't have a TV so I don't know what movies are out! I dont see movies in Nac either because the theater is crap and Im not going to pay $7 for crap! SO all that said, I have no clue what I am seeing. Oh wellll! Ok, Im going to go. PEACE WORLD!

Boo

2008-12-19T02:22:00.008-07:00

It's 3 am. Well, 3:22 am to be exact. There is a black and white polk-a-dot kitty snuggled up to me on my left. My lap is still toasty because a little tabby cat was recently residing there. My sister is in her room chatting away on the phone. Chances are I will wake up tomorrow around noon or 1pm, that is if Michael doesnt wake me with a phone call... "Hey. What are you doing?"
"Nothin'..."
"You just woke up didn't you?"
"Well... yeah."
"Ohhh, Becky."
"What??"
"What are you doing today?"
"Nothing. What should we do? I don't have any money."
"I don't either."
"Well, if you get bored, you can come over..."
"Ok, well, we'll see."
"Ok, talk to you later, then I guess."
"Later."
"Bye."

All seems normal in the world.
I'm tired of normal.
I seek change.

INDIA

2008-12-18T01:53:00.003-07:00

Hey, blog world. I have been having trouble logging in but finally resolved the problem! Yay! Over this break, Zach and I have resolved to FINISH our India project! I figured out that if I edit at least two photos a day, I will have them all done by the end of break with some days to spare! I am excited and pumped to have our show! Go to my art blog to check out the latest India pictures. Keep an open calendar for this coming semester. We are hoping to have the show early-mid semester.

It's good to be back in Austin. Although, as I kind of expected, I haven't gotten very sound sleep seeing as I am sleeping on a couch and the kitties tend to be quite demanding/loud at night. Even IN their kennels, the just bang on the door of the kennel making noise and meooowwww! Goodness, goodness. I think we are getting closer to a quiet kitty solution, though. Plan number 1,009: Chester in bathroom in big kennel with kennel door pushed against wall and a towel stuffed between wall and door so that no loud noises errupt. Itty in bathroom in little kennel on TOP of big kennel to keep big kennel firmly against towel and wall. Sydney: loose in bathroom. Will THIS plan work? Well, we shall see. WE SHALL SEE!
More later...
... go look at the India pictures!

The Two Man Gentlemen Band and more!

2008-12-12T14:27:00.007-07:00

Ok, these guys were blog-worthy. I just love the sense of humor they have... and a few... suggestive remarks... lol, its just so funny and fun and entertaining! Take a gander, will you? Not only are they funny, but they DO have skillzzzz!

MAN you just gotta love those... err... kazoo neck strap holder things??
ps, credit and thanks to Rand Renfrow for finding/showing me these guys

I think a HALLELUJAH is in order, folks. I have survived yet ANOTHER semester of college. I have enjoyed the semester greatly, with being challenged artistically (as college should do), making new friends, and growing closer to old ones... its been a good one. So-long to dear Melanie and Camlin- they will be missed as they graduate! Class just wont be the same without them! Never-the-less, I look forward to the coming semester and getting to know and be around other friends even more! I have definitely learned to (no matter the art class) make things that I am interested in and and can put my heart into- not just making something arbitrary because you are getting a grade. I have learned to be purposeful and feel like my horizons have been broadened. I have enjoyed immensely seeing three friends come to know the Lord over this semester, being able to watch them grow in their relationships with Christ, and see the change take place in their hearts. I have loved singing with Sandy for church and bid her farewell also. So, cheers to a great semester, as I look forward to the next! Now it is time to go catch up on all that sleep I have been missing so much!!!
peace and love...

Finals week! BOO!

2008-12-08T15:08:00.004-07:00

Hey, blog. Lets take a study break, no? My GOODNESS last week was crazy! Normally, I have all my projects done by now (finals week). Well, lets just say that I don't this time around. It will all be finished, though, and with little to no stress (meaning, I have plenty of time, excluding unforeseen problems. **crosses fingers**) I am not sure if I got less sleep than normal (last week) or if its a culmination of the entire semester piled up, but LORD knows I was feelin' STRANGE because of sleep deprivation. This weekend, I managed to sleep two days STRAIGHT (except for the occasional feeding, and cats waking me up!) I am feeling much more like a person now. I still don't know how I haven't gotten really sick from lack of sleep this semester. I guess someone upstairs has got my back.

Right now I am in the digital lab printing off some (ok, ALL) of my prints for my finial in my independent study. Some of the prints are horribly long, as I think I have mentioned before. What can I say? I like large scale! The longest (I believe) is printing right now. It is about five feet long. Yes... thats two inches short of being as tall as I am. LOVE IT! It should be done printing in a bout an hour. Lol... yeah, those big'ens take some time! The bigger the print, though, the more money you can end up selling ir for! I am not going to lie, that has a little bit to do with why they are so large. Mainly, though I just enjoy large scale and the detail that you can see when it is so big! I also enjoy the challenge of how to present them! So many possibilities! Normal framing and matting just ISNT for me!!

These are the images that made the cut so far:

four foot, four inches long:

four feet long:

five feet long:

four foot, four inches long:

a few inches shy of three feet long:

I still have five more that I need to edit and print on top of all of this. The editing process, for the most part, isn't too hard for this series. Who is to say what IS right and what ISN'T with these? Dust on the print outs is never ok, though, so thats one of the things I have to edit for!

Tomorrow at 8:30 am I have my only actual exam. BOO! I should be good though. With the time that its taking to print these long prints, I have plenty of study time. After my exam tomorrow, I will be matting (due to professors request) the smaller prints. You know, that seems like a waste to me, though, if I wont end up using it! I should e-mail him. One moment please...
...ok, I e-mailed him.

...My huge-o print finished. It printed wrong. I get to re-print it now. JOY!...

So anyways, maybe I won't have to matte those little ones. Seems like a waste of money! Ya know?? Yeah. Fo sho.

I don't have much else to say. Be good now!

Let me look into my little crystal ball and tell you your future job.

2008-12-02T21:27:00.010-07:00

Annnnnnnnnnnndddddd, I'm back. I keep having people tell me, "I've been reading your blog!" or, "I read on your blog...." and things of this nature. Come on, people! Don't be a silent reader, leave comments! :)

Now that thats over... Thanksgiving break was nice. Got to see lots of family and a little bit of friends. I wish I got to see lots of family and LOTS of friends! Oh well, you take what you can get, eh? I worked on my drawing project over the break. LORD knows I am no where near done. It has to be done by Friday the 12th. I was at Java Jacks today with Sandy... she was studying, I was drawing (on a HUGE drawing board! It was awkward.) I got PRETTY frustrated with it! My face... doesnt look like my face. Everything else? Well... whatever. Taking the prof's suggestion from a while ago, I photographed the drawing, opened it and the file I am drawing from in photoshop and compared. Well, first I over-layed the two images with the drawing on top and see-through. Turns out my face is right... thats pretty cool, but scary that it IS right. Whats wrong then?? Why does it still not look like me? Oh. I didn't draw my forehead big enough. Dang it. Wouldn't you know??? The forehead must get bigger. FABULOUS!

Yes. THAT forehead. I know, you are shielding your eyes from the glare, right?? Haha, oh well.
You see where the tip of the arrow is on my mouse? Thats where my forhead SHOULD be. At the bottom of the cross thingy on the mouse is where I drew it. crap. It needs to move OUT too, don't know if you can see it or not.

On to the next topic...
I have been looking around, recently, at the job market for someone like myself. Weird? Yes. As far as I have found via Craigs List, there is jack-squat. Crap. I eventually ended up on Yahoo Jobs. Guess who is hiring Photographers?? The U.S. Navy. Ugh. I don't think I could qualify since you have to pass a health check. If I did, though? That would actually be REALLY exciting. A very steady job for sure and garunteed $$ and bonuses and travel. I think my mom would FLIP out anyways, even if I wouldn't be "fighting." On to another search... Ok, long story short? I ended up an the apple website looking at their job opportunities. They actually have a campus in Austin, but the "design" jobs are in California... um, thats not too shabby either. Now that I am looking more at job opportunities, maybe I should go to grad school for design? The only thing is I don't have much in my portfolio for that. I am not too sure I could be accepted with the stuff I have, lol. Who knows?? Not me. I shall continue in my search. Apple will DEFINITELY be applied to, though. How exciting would THAT be?? They even had a section for "Just graduated?? We hire recent Grads with little to no experience!" Well, that sounds like me!!!

I must go to sleep now, I have been trying to be responsible. I will leave you with this:
My stereographic camera. High tech, eh?

I made it...

2008-11-25T15:09:00.010-07:00

Hey blog! Well, I made it through the last two days, and now its Thanksgiving break. Are you as shocked as me? It was a strange day, though. My alarm didn't go off for my first class. It does that when I miss a text or a call. So, because the phone has a "one missed call" message on it when I open it up, somehow that means it will not let my alarm go off. I guess it can't do two things at once. My phone truly sucks. Sometimes it likes to make its screen go black... or white. I guess its good that its not racist. I wouldn't be down with that. It also likes to make very strange noises when I call Christi. Oh yes, I must not forget that it is selective on who it lets through. Yes, my phone has favorites, apparently. Sometimes people call me, but my phone doesn't want me to know. Same with texting... It's quite a joy.

My apartment is nice and clean, as I dislike coming back to a messy home. Sometimes I just let it slip and leave with things all messy, but this time I just couldn't let that happen. Now all I have left is to pack for Austin. Only trouble is that I don't feel all that well. Maybe I have a "bug," as my mother would put it. I just feel kind of weak, and oh... theres this migraine that is pounding at my head. If you have never had a migraine before, consider yourself blessed! It is perhaps the most painful natural thing that you can ever experienced. I hear child birth is pretty painful, though. That and appendix-burstage. Hopefully, I will never experience either. Yuck, I feel a little like I might throw up. Maybe I had too much raisin nut bran. Is that possible? Perhaps I just need some sleep.

Next semester I have my BFA show. Every BFA (Bachelor of Fine Arts) has to have one. I don't know how I should hang my stuff, though. Most people just matte it, frame it in black frames, and hang it. OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH! So boring. Don't get me wrong, it looks very nice, but I just want something more exciting! Plus, I have some VERY big and long prints that I'm pretty sure I couldn't matte even if I wanted too... I don't think that they make sheets of matte board that big-- not that I know of, at least. I am thinking that maybe I will mount them on something... something like matte board... lol. That sounds funny, but I think they MIGHT make sheets as long as my prints, but not LONGER than and TALLER than the prints (it has to be bigger than the print if you are going to put a matte around the outside of it.) Maybe I can then put some non-reflective plexi glass in front of it. I would have to get the EXACT right size, though. That makes me sort of nervous. I was also thinking that it would be TIGHT if they were all like... hanging from the ceiling all over and in the room and its like, you walk into my imagination when you walk into the gallery! OHHHHHH!! Nice. That would have a lot of variables that could go wrong, though. I would have to experiment. I believe it was last semester (?) that I was in a show where we hung the pictures from the ceiling along the walls. ALL of the pictures leaned forward, though-- It was definitely an unfortunate and unforeseen mishap. It was strange, indeed. We figured out that if we hung them from almost the top of the frame, they were just about vertical, but not quite. Maybe if I hang them from the very top, they will hang straight. How would I do that, though? Hmmm.... black binder clips? Hanging can be tricky, you don't want the manner in which you hang to detract or distract from your work. I definitely don't want them to fall, either! So much to think about! I am open to suggestions!!

Well, the time has come again where I shall depart. I will leave you with two things: 1) I love incense. The unfortunate thing about it, though, is that it easily makes a mess, and when people (who don't know you) see it, they assume you are a stoner. Not cool.
2) I am taking a web design class next semester and I am really excited. I think that might make me a geek.

Peace.

Back So Soon?

2008-11-20T14:44:00.007-07:00

I told you that I would write more! Are you proud?? Ok. This past week or so my appetite has decreased significantly (the reason for this is unknown to me). My body is starting to adjust, I think, to very little food intake. Exhibit A: Yesterday I didn't ONCE get hungry, and I therefore forgot to eat. Nothing. No food. Nothing at all. Hmmm. This is not very healthy. Think about it, though... if you were distracted/busy all day long and never once felt a hunger pain, what would remind you to eat?
"Becky. I have been eating all my life. I think I would remember." No, seriously!! Think of a BUSY day that you have had... many things to accomplish... you rarely slow down. You would forget to eat! I bet you ANYTHING! Now don't get all CrAzY on me and think that this is some scheme or excuse of mine to loose weight, you silly people! Don't you know that eating less frequently slows your metabolism, therefore making it harder to loose weight?! Goodness. (This reminds me, I need to buy some more vitamins. I think my old bottle had some latex in it. It is now in a landfill somewhere.) I haven't gotten hungry today. I am trying to eat at THIS very moment, though. I have taken two bites of a homemade turkey and cheese wrap and I already feel STUFFED. What the heck. You know what I have noticed, though? ...Extreme behavior shifts when I forget to eat for a while. I don't get hungry, but obviously my body needs food. When it hasn't had food in a while, I get CRANKY and irritable. This is strange to me as well. Food. It effects your mood. Weird.

Remember the scheduling conflict that I talked about in my last post? I FINALLY was able to log into MySFA and drop that science class for the Professional Practices course. I think it was a good move, even IF it means that now, on Tuesday and Thursday, my schedule next semester will be classes from 8am until 9pm.
...OH YES I just realized (I went to look at my schedule online) that I have a 4 hour break in there! Yay! That will be good nap time/work time :). I was also able to sign up for Book Arts! YAY! Normally a pre-requisite of beginning printmaking is required before you can take that class. I have not taken it. I decided to e-mail the prof and tell him that this is my last semester for electives and I asked if there was ANY way that I could take his Book Arts class because I REALLY wanted to learn about it. I must have laid it on THICK because he waved all pre-requisite requirements JUST for ME! He literally said, "Just for you!" YessssSsSsSsSssss!

**Bite number three: eaten**
**Gag reflex: heightened**

Well, I told you that I would post some of my latest photos. There are more on my art blog.

This series, Beautiful Everyday Motion, tries to capture the beauty of everyday life. There was nothing too extraordinary going on when the pictures were taken. It was not a planned out shoot. In fact, half the time, I didn't even know what I was taking a picture of. I would simply hold out the camera in a random manor and snap a picture or two (or three). To me, this is a photographic way to appreciate what is around you... to bring out its inherent beauty... to "stop and smell the roses." I simply love the results so far. What a majestic creation, and what a majestic Creator.

AAANNNNNDDDDD lastly, I am pretty excited about my drawing project! Weird, huh? Maybe its because I am finally starting to be able to think in drawing terms. It was initially hard for me to just come up with an idea and then... draw it?? What?? No thanks. I am getting better at that now, and I am excited about my idea. I thought it would be neat to have me sitting on my little couch in my living room with a book on my lap "supposedly" studying. In the image, I am daydreaming rather than studying, though. I will be thinking about things I need to do/would RATHER be doing but I am stuck studying instead. To convey that idea, I will have me in the picture several times. One will be me going out the door, another will be me picking up my mess and THEN suddenly the right side of the image blends and fades into an outside scene with me on a photoshoot, taking pictures of someone I have painted on. I made a mock-up of the left side of the drawing so I could have something to draw from:

the images of me going out the door and my cleaning will be slightly see-through and less "finished" looking to show that they are in the daydream. It will DEFINITELY be a task making it all work, but I am super excited to get started. It is always good to be excited about a project you are doing... you tend to put more effort into it.

Well, I am off. I think I will take a nap or something. I am kinda beat.

**finished turkey wrap**

And so, I leave you with this: In my 3D design class yesterday, A woman accidently poked herself in the eye with wire. Her EYEBALL started bleeding. She was litterally crying blood.